


Problems

by Hippiebuckyharrington



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bedsharing, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Christmas Fluff, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mentions of past child abuse, Misunderstanding, Mother Hen Bucky Barnes, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Not really Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Movie) Compliant, Oblivious Tony Stark, PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, Trigger Warning: Past mentions of attempted suicide, Trigger Warning: depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-22 08:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17056208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hippiebuckyharrington/pseuds/Hippiebuckyharrington
Summary: Tony Stark is really too busy to be stuck in the mountains, let alone stuck in the mountains with the Winter Soldier of all people. But Hydra just had to go and make threats and ruin everyone's good time. The real kicker? There is only one bed. Which isn't a problem, a couch is fine, and they are both adults who can take turns. Except then it snows, and all heat and power in their shitty little cabin cut out. Whatever will they do?!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not gonna lie, this is purely self indulgent. I thought to myself, what if Winteriron had to share a bed, and what if it was Christmas, and how fluffy can I make this? It's me, so there's a very small amount of angst, but this is mostly just fluff. This will, hopefully, update every day between now and Christmas, with the final chapter on Christmas day. That's the plan anyway, lets see if I stick to it. All mistakes are my own, I hopefully caught all typos but if I missed one, and it's distracting let me know, also I will try and update the tags as the story progresses but if I miss something let me know! Thanks for reading!

This is a problem. Not a problem like a nuke launched at New York City, or a problem like being kidnapped and hooked up to a car battery. Oh no, nothing that major, but it's still a problem, and any problem, be it a minor inconvenience or something huge, feels world shattering at two in the fucking morning. This particular problem is somewhere between getting all comfy in bed and realizing you need to pee, and you missed all of your alarms and your car won’t start so you are going to be so freaking late, but it is still a problem.

It being that Tony Stark is stuck in a safe house in the ass crack of who the fuck knows where, with only one bed. Why is the only one bed a problem? Well, it’s a problem because Tony is not the only one in said safe house. He happens to be here with one recently thawed assassin, who also happens to be the reason they are both in said safe house. See? Problem. 

Tony drops his bag by the door and blinks at the man, then turns to frown at the agent who brought him here. 

"I'm so sorry Mr. Stark. Hydra has made you, Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff, and Sergeant Barnes here top on their hit list. We need to keep you all safe until the threat blows over." Tony and Barnes both snort. The agent checks her watch and sighs heavily. "Listen gentlemen, I am just following orders. Don't shoot the messenger and all that." She shrugs. "I was told to get you both here, and instruct you that you are to remain here until the other Avengers neutralize the threat. Supplies will be brought every week. There is a special script that will need to be followed when supplies are brought. That information is stashed in the bedroom, bottom of the third drawer of the dresser. I do apologize about the bed situation, but on such short notice there is little to be done. Now is that all? I really need to be going." The agent says. Barnes and Tony both frown at her. But really, how do you argue with all of that? The agent nods, and leaves, locking the door behind her. 

Barnes and Tony then turn and stare at each other, in that awkward way that you stare at someone who you never expected to encounter.

"So, you’re alive." Tony says, because that seems the best place to start with this whole mess. Barnes flinches slightly and sits back down on the couch. He wipes his palms on his thighs and sighs, looking out the windows to his right. 

"Unfortunately." He answers, softly. Tony chuckles and goes into the kitchen area of the two-room cabin. He pulls open cabinets and starts rifling through their contents. 

"Feel that. I take it Spangles doesn’t know?" Tony replies. Barnes' startling blue eyes track Tony around the kitchen. 

"No, he doesn’t." Barnes replies. Tony turns and raises an eyebrow, but Barnes doesn’t elaborate. Tony frowns and continues going through the kitchen’s contents. There isn’t much. Having done that Tony wanders into the bedroom.

The small room contains a queen-sized bed, a closet, a dresser, two nightstands on either side of the bed and a book case, as well as a sliding door to the right of the bed that leads onto a small porch. Tony frowns and wanders back into the main room, Barnes hasn’t moved. There is a door off the main room that leads to the bathroom. The main room has a couch, kitchenette, small table and four chairs, a low coffee table in front of the couch and a tv facing the couch, mounted above a fireplace. There are also several bookcases filled with novels, board games, and DVDs. Tony sighs, and fidgets slightly. 

He feels overdressed, he's wearing a suit and tie. Barnes is wearing well-worn jeans, a t-shirt that reads: I'm not saying I'm captain America, but Captain America and I have never been seen in the same room together. His hair is pulled into a messy bun and he's barefoot. Tony loosens his tie, kicks off his shoes, and settles on the other end of the couch. 

"Alright Barnes. Let’s just get this over with." Tony says, Barnes starts a little and peers warily at him.  
"First, I don't wanna talk about your past, just like I don't wanna talk about mine. We are here for the foreseeable future so let’s just leave our skeletons in the closet yeah?" Barnes nods. "Good, now the bed situation…" Tony murmurs, glancing at the obnoxious looking coo-coo clock on the wall. It's just after two am, he needs to sleep, and Barnes looks like he could use some rest too. 

"You can have it." Barnes whispers. Tony blinks in surprise. 

"Well, we are here indefinitely until the scum that is Hydra is demolished, so how about we take turns? I’m not super picky about where I sleep, and I imagine you are the same. Can I take it, the bed I mean, tonight if that's ok?" Tony asks. Barnes lifts a shoulder. Tony frowns. 

"Did you already unpack your stuff, is it ok if I do the same?" Tony asks. Barnes nods. Tony stands and grabs his bag before heading into the bedroom. He unpacks his clothes, Barnes has his clothes in the top two drawers of the dresser. Tony puts his in the bottom two, and hangs up some things in the closet. 

He then sits on the edge of the bed and sighs. This is going to be an experience, that’s for sure. Tony pokes his head back into the living room to find that the couch is empty. The bathroom door is closed and Tony can hear the tap running. He ducks back into the bedroom, which doesn’t have a door, of course, and hurriedly changes into flannel pajama pants and a white tank top. 

He pads out to the kitchen and fills a glass with water and then brushes his teeth in the kitchen sink. He turns off the kitchen lights and hovers awkwardly in the doorway to the bedroom. Barnes comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later, and moves toward the bedroom. Tony tries to move around him and instead bumps right into the bigger man. His water spills all over the both of them, and Tony nearly falls over.

Barnes reaches out and steadies him with a firm grip of his flesh hand. Tony blinks at the way the wet t-shirt is clinging to the toned planes of Barnes' chest. They stand and blink at each other, and Tony's sleepy brain wonders what that mouth feels like, at the same time supplying a flash of Tony's childhood room and that secret shoe-box under his bed filled with pictures of one James Buchanan Barnes. He shakes himself and steps back hurriedly. 

"Sorry, I'm really tired. I've been up for like 36 hours." Tony rambles, walking toward the bathroom.

"Its fine." Barnes mutters, ducking into the bedroom. Tony leans against the bathroom door for long moments once he's inside. This is gonna problem.

When he comes out, Barnes is lying on the couch, the lights are off except for the one in the bedroom. He’s snagged a pillow from the bed and is curled under a blanket. Tony pads quietly past but pauses in the doorway and looks back. He sighs and then turns to go to bed. His glass has been refilled and is sitting on the nightstand. Tony sits on the edge of the bed and eyes it. 

"I didn’t poison it, just refilled it." Barnes calls. Tony jumps.

"Thank you." Tony calls, back and then curls under the covers, turning out the light. He lies awake for a long time, wondering how in the hell he wound up in a safe house in the middle of fucking nowhere with Bucky Barnes of all people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony wakes up slowly to the smell and sounds of someone cooking. He sits up and stretches, cringing a bit when his back pops. He leans over, from the bed he can see right into the kitchenette. Barnes is standing at the stove, with his back to the bedroom, wearing sleep pants, black with red hourglasses on them, and a black t-shirt. His hair is pulled up like last night, and he's still barefoot. 

"I know you’re awake and watchin' me. Small house and I got super soldier hearin', you gonna just stare or you want somethin' t' eat?" Barnes calls, without turning, much chattier this morning than he was last night, or well, earlier this morning.

Tony jumps and scrambles out of bed. He walks slowly toward the table and sits. Barnes comes over immediately and sets down a mug of coffee, as well as a container of sugar and a bottle of half and half. He turns back to the stove before Tony can say anything. Tony blinks at the man’s back, before taking a sip of the coffee. 

"How you take your eggs?" Barnes asks. Tony swallows and sets his mug down.

"Over-hard. Can I help?" Tony asks. Barnes chuckles. 

"Don't kid yourself Stark. I read about you, I know you can't cook f'r shit." Barnes tosses over his shoulder, dumping food on plates. Tony blinks and then shrugs. He's not wrong, Tony is a horrible cook. People Magazine did a whole spread on him, what his hobbies were, favorite vacation spots, and favorite food to cook. Since he can’t cook that answer had been rather humorous, filled with examples of disastrous attempts. Tony shrugs again as he cradles his mug in his hands and looks out the window.

Their cabin in nestled in the mountains, about 45 minutes north of Creede, Colorado, a place Tony hadn't even known existed until early this morning when he arrived. The window next to the kitchen looks out to pine trees and mountains, and it's gorgeous now that he’s less exhausted. Tony hasn't ever spent much time in the mountains or in places like this, his whole life is New York, and the quiet of the mountains is a rather unsettling change. But he has to admit, if he was looking for the Legendary Tony Stark, the mountains are not where he'd go. 

He's jolted from his musings when Barnes sets down a plate heaped with food. There are hash browns, two eggs, toast with jelly, and sausage. Tony's eyebrows shoot up and he blinks at Barnes, as the other man sits with his own plate of food across from him. 

"What? Don't like somethin'?" Barnes asks, an eyebrow raised. Tony shakes himself and picks up his fork.

"No, I'm just surprised you made so much food." Tony says. Barnes doesn’t answer, just tucks into his breakfast, the same as Tony's except twice as much of everything. Tony follows suit and they eat in silence. 

Tony insists on doing the dishes when they are done eating because it seems only fair. Barnes just shrugs and grabs a book from the coffee table and heads to the small porch off the bedroom to settle in the chair there and read. 

Tony decides to get dressed, since its nearly noon. He walks into the bedroom, and pulls out a pair of jeans and a heavy metal t-shirt. He changes in the bathroom, doesn't really want Barnes to see him naked, and then makes the bed, folding his sleep clothes into his drawers of the dresser. He turns then and stops short. 

The sun is shining in through the open glass door, and Barnes is sitting in a rickety looking lawn chair, with his feet propped on the railing surrounding the small area. He's worrying his lip as he reads, and a few strands of his hair have tugged free of the bun and are blowing gently around his face. He is absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous and Tony just stops and stares. The sun filters through the branches of the surrounding trees, high lighting the light shades of brown in Barnes' hair, and his pale skin dances with the shifting shadows. He looks like he belongs here, relaxed and reading, the bite of the mountain air flushing his cheeks the perfect amount.

"You sure do a lot of starin'" Barnes calls, without looking up. Tony flushes and hurries into the living room without replying. 

They spend most of the day apart, Barnes reading on the deck, still in his sleep clothes and Tony sitting in the living room, bundled in a hoodie and a blanket and working on some S.I. bullshit from his laptop. Barnes left the door cracked open and it's freezing in the cabin now. It's November for Christ's sake, how Barnes can be sitting out there in sleep pants and a t-shirt is beyond Tony. 

When it gets dark, Barnes comes back inside. He closes the door and smirks at Tony when he sees him bundled in blankets watching TV. He doesn’t comment though, just sets his book down and goes to the kitchen to start cooking. He makes an incredible spaghetti and meatballs that night. Tony is impressed, because all of it came from a box or jar, but tastes homemade. After dinner, they settle on the couch. 

"I'm bored. Wanna watch a movie or somethin'?" Tony asks. Barnes shrugs, so Tony puts in Star Wars. They watch in silence, well Barnes does, Tony chatters away the whole time and Barnes responds in grunts and shrugs. After the movie, they go their separate ways, as much as they can in a tiny cabin. Barnes surprisingly starts baking. Tony lounges on the couch, looking over some blueprints. 

"I don't know what you are making Barnes, but it smells divine." Tony croons. Barnes chuckles a bit and smiles over his shoulder. 

"Cookies, my secret recipe. Used t' make 'em for Stevie all the time when he was still a shrimpy little punk." Barnes says. A sad look flickers across his face, but it's gone before Tony can really decipher it. 

They lapse into silence again, and Tony finishes his work. He wanders over and attempts to steal a cookie. Barnes slaps him away and shakes his head. Tony frowns and pouts, but Barnes merely raises a brow so Tony gives up. Barnes doesn't let Tony anywhere near the cookies that night. 

Tony shrugs and changes into sleep clothes and brushes his teeth. He makes up his bed on the couch while Barnes does the same in the other room and then they go to sleep. Or at least Barnes does, Tony lies awake, staring at the ceiling and wondering why he feels so lonely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! The wonderful thing about being on winter break is that I have nothing else going on, so telling myself I'm gonna update every day is actually attainable! Which is exciting for all of you because you don't have to wait as long between updates! Thank you for reading, and because of who I am as a person I love kudos and comments, and leaving those makes me more inclined to stick to my update schedule. I will try to update tags as I update the story, but as always if I miss something let me know. Happy reading!

They settle into a pattern over the next week, Barnes cooks, Tony does the dishes and then they try and stay out of each other’s space as much as possible in the small cabin. It is shockingly not as much of a problem as Tony had thought it would be, even if he's a little stir crazy. 

They continue to take turns sleeping on the couch, and if Tony breathes deep the scent of Barnes on the blankets when it's his turn that's nobody's business but his own. Barnes sits outside reading a lot, usually in jeans and a t-shirt, which baffles Tony, who adds as many layers to his person as possible if Barnes leaves the door open.

He is also more productive at S.I than he has ever been, and Pepper, who just thinks he's on vacation with the latest love interest, sent him a glowing email encouraging him to stay as long as he wants as long as he keeps his work up. Tony isn't even wanting to do the work, but there is literally nothing else to do. He can't focus on the bodice ripper's or the hiking guides that the cabin offers. The murder mysteries are a little interesting but Tony finds inconsistencies in them, so he just works, sitting on the couch or the at the table, drinking a lot of coffee and doing more for his own company than he ever did before.

And he's slowly going insane, he doesn't understand how Barnes seems so content, he doesn’t seem to want to run screaming, and he just reads or writes in a notebook, or watches TV, though that is rare. Tony debates hourly running down the mountain and getting caught, just for something to do. He doesn't though because Pepper and Rhodey, and probably Cap would all murder him, so he just works. 

He nearly gets a heart attack when there’s a knock on the door a week after he first got here. He shrieks and falls over backwards in his chair. He had been sitting at the kitchen table, working away on some blueprints for new tech for S.I., balancing the chair back on its back legs when the knock sounded. 

He groans after he lands and just lies there, hoping that whoever is at the door isn’t Hydra because he can't really breathe right now. Barnes strides out of the bathroom, where he'd been showering, and then Tony really can't breathe. 

Barnes is clearly fresh out of the shower, he's got a cream-colored towel around his waist and has another one held to his hair. His toned chest is gleaming in the low light from the lamps by the couch, water droplets clinging to his skin. Tony just gapes from his position sprawled on the floor. Barnes raises an eyebrow and goes to the door. 

"I hate when my roommate eats all my bagels." Barnes calls. Tony frowns, what an odd thing to say. A voice on the other side of the door answers. 

"Me too, that’s why I exclusively eat spaghetti." Tony raises a brow as Barnes pulls the door open and a young woman steps into the room. She eyes Barnes for a moment before turning to Tony, still sprawled on the floor. 

"Ah, that would be the crash I heard. Good thing I'm not Hydra." She says. Tony glares at her, and then stands up slowly, righting the chair as he does. He settles back into it and watches silently as Barnes and the agent go through the food delivery. She only stays for 15 minutes and then she's gone, climbing back into the nondescript car. Barnes stands in the kitchenette, towel around his neck and his waist, unpacking the groceries. 

"Like what you see, Stark?" He quips and Tony flushes and stumbles out of his chair. 

"Don't flatter yourself Barnes. You done in the bathroom, I need a shower too?" Tony calls. Barnes smirks over his shoulder and nods, turning back to lean down and put some veggies in the fridge. Tony works really hard to not stare at the toned muscles in the man’s back working and pulling as he moves, and he really doesn’t stare at the juncture between metal arm and flesh, because that's not sexy at all, nope not even a little. No, Tony runs to the bathroom because he's excited about his shower, not because he has a problem in his pants.

Tony takes a long, hot shower. He hopes that super soldier hearing can’t pick up exactly what he does in the shower, because that would be all kinds of embarrassing. But honestly, what is he supposed to do? It had been weeks since he had gotten any, and now he’s trapped in a cabin with a very attractive super soldier. So, if he takes a little time to himself in the shower, that isn’t Barnes problem. 

He towels off his hair after the hot water runs out and then wraps the towel around his waist. The bathroom is foggy with steam, and Tony needs to trim his goatee. He opens the door, wipes off the mirror and plugs in his razor.

Barnes is dressed now, lounging on the couch, watching the news. Tony keeps sneaking him glances, but Barnes never looks at him. Tony finishes shaving and pads to the bedroom to change, which he does hurriedly after making sure he can't be seen from the couch. He's tired, which doesn’t make sense to him. He hasn’t done anything but sit and work. But he's still exhausted, so he crawls into bed, it's his turn, and turns off the light. He lies there for a long time before falling asleep, listening to the quiet sounds of the TV in the other room, and trying not to replay the image of a nearly naked Barnes in his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony really should have expected it sooner, the nightmares. He couldn't tell you why he didn’t, and he's honestly surprised that it takes a week of nothing but these two rooms and tons of work before his nightmares come back. They are sporadic now, not a nightly thing anymore. He's got a therapist and a prescription that helps, but when he's bored, and his hands are idle they come back. 

This one is one of the older ones, he's trapped in the cave again in Afghanistan. He sits up and tears his shirt open again, staring down at the hole in his chest, in the dream it sparks slightly, and it hurts, burns like fire. He immediately sets to work on the Arc Reactor, he's alone this time, there is no one else. But something is missing, so the reactor fails. The entrance to the cave opens and Tony looks up to see the Ten Rings hauling in his mother. Tony gasps and pleads for them to stop, they don’t, they just kill her, tell him to try again and leave. 

Tony is sobbing now as he tries to fix the reactor, but it keeps failing and every time it does, another person he loves is hauled in and killed while Tony watches. Steve, Bruce, Rhodey, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, Happy, and then they bring Peter Parker in. And Tony screams, lunging at them, because Peter is bruised and bloody and crying, begging Tony to help him. One of the Ten Rings men grabs Tony when he lunges for the kid and wrestles him, trying to restrain him, Tony screams, fighting as best he can against them. 

"Jesus Christ, Stark it's me, James Barnes, will ya stop tryin' ta kill me??" Tony blinks and looks around. He isn’t in the cave, he's in bed at the cabin, and he wrestling Barnes. Barnes has his arms around Tony's middle, and is scowling down at Tony. When Tony blinks up at him he releases him and sits down at the end of the bed eyeing Tony warily. Tony is panting, and his face is wet. He hastily wipes his eyes and looks away. 

"Sorry about the manhandling, you were all tangled in the sheets and kicking and screamin'. I tried to just shake you awake but you tried to punch me, and you wouldn't wake up." Barnes says, blue eyes calmly watching Tony. Tony sighs and looks down at his hands. 

"Sorry." He mumbles. Barnes just shrugs, the metal arm catching the glow from the arc reactor. Tony stars at it, watching the arm shift and the quiet hum of the mechanics. Tony breathes deep and lets his mind wonder about the mechanics of the arm. Barnes doesn't say anything. 

"Need t' talk?" He asks eventually. Tony shakes his head. Barnes nods and the stands. 

"Well if you need anythin' just holler." He says and then disappears into the living room. Tony sighs and flops back against the pillows. This is just great. He rubs a hand over the arc reactor, and stares out the sliding glass doors. It's dark and quiet, too quiet. He lies in bed for another hour, then wraps himself in a blanket from the bed and quietly walks over to the sliding door. From here he can see Barnes' huddled form on the couch, breathing slowly. Tony sighs, and slides the door open.

He steps on to the porch, and settles into the lawn chair. It's cold, really cold, and Tony's breath huffs out in front of him. He tips his head back and can see the icy stars. It's breathtaking. There aren’t stars like this in New York, too much light pollution, and Tony just drinks them in. 

The cold is grounding, it isn’t the heat of Afghanistan, and it reminds him that he survived. He pulls the blanket tighter around himself and just listens to the quiet around him. Eventually, Tony has to go back inside, it's really cold out. 

He crawls back into bed and pulls a sketch pad off the nightstand. He huddles into the blankets, and props the pillows up. He settles the sketch pad against his knees and flips to a blank page. It was a gift from Steve for Christmas last year, and Tony usually sketches plans and blueprints in it.

Tony chews his lip and looks out the door again. He can hear Barnes gently snoring from the other room, it's a soothing sound, reminds Tony he isn't alone. Tony starts sketching, a rough diagram of the arm, bent up like Barnes is doing a curl. He then labels things and starts guessing at the ways he thinks the arm could work. His mind starts working and the rest of the night passes quickly. 

Tony fills two pages with drawings and notes on how the arm could work. By the time the sun comes up Tony is more than ready to get out of bed, he wants to look at some of the files SHIELD has on the arm. He jumps when Barnes clears his throat from the doorway. 

"Did you not go back to sleep?" He asks, looking surprised to find Tony sitting up in bed. Tony shakes his head.

"Nah, nightmares usually travel in packs so I just stayed up. I was designing something though so it's fine. And you're up now so I can make coffee! Yay!!" Tony cries and scrambles out of bed. He hurries into the kitchen and grabs his mug to wait excitedly by the coffee machine.

Barnes gets dressed and then comes out of the bedroom to start breakfast. Tony settles at the kitchen table and watches Barnes cook, watching the arm move under his t-shirt. Tony makes mental notes about it, filing them away to add to his designs, stashed in the bedroom. 

Barnes sets down his food and they eat in silence. They pass that day much the same as all the others, Tony gets to work again, communicating with JARVIS remotely to still provide upgrades for the Avengers making sure that the ones in hiding get to return home eventually. Barnes sits on the couch and watches Law and Order: SVU, drinking tea. 

"You know, for a ghost story assassin, you are surprisingly Zen." Tony quips in the early evening, watching Barnes sitting with his mug, watching the TV calmly. He lifts a shoulder. 

"I've lived in worse places and I was here for three days before you showed up. And having nothing to do and nowhere to be is nice after 70 years of hell." He replies, quietly. Tony can't really argue about that so he turns back to his work. 

Barnes makes another kickass dinner and then insists on watching a movie. 

"Barnes, it's a small cabin, no matter where I am, I will be able to hear the movie you are watching. Why do I have to sit on the couch away from my tablet, phone and computer and watch with you?" Tony snarks, then shrieks when he is hoisted out of his chair. 

Barnes carries him the two feet to the couch and dumps him on it, tucks a fluffy blanket around him and shoves a huge mug of hot chocolate, complete with mini marshmallows, into his hands. Tony blinks up at him as Barnes turns on the TV, puts in Jurassic Park and then sits down next to Tony. 

"Because you work too much, we have been here for a week and all you’ve done is work. Now sit, and watch a movie with me." Barnes says, and then glares at Tony in his Winter Soldier look. Tony rolls his eyes but gives up. And the hot chocolate is incredible, he's warm, and tired. Tony finishes his hot chocolate and falls asleep before the movie is half way done. 

Bucky smirks at the sleeping genius and gently takes the mug from his hands without waking him. He tucks the blanket more securely around him and settles in to finish the movie. "You're almost as bad as Stevie." He mutters, smiling at the snoring man. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony wakes up sweating in the middle of the night. 

"Jesus Barnes!" He shrieks and scrambles away from the taller man when he finds him leaning over him, fumbling a hand over the arc reactor. Barnes rolls his eyes.

"You were having another nightmare. ‘M tryin’ to wake you up before it got as bad as yesterday." 

"Oh. Sorry." Tony mutters. Barnes just shrugs and goes back to the couch. Tony doesn’t go back to sleep. He doesn’t even remember the dream he'd been having just that it was terrifying. Tony spends the rest of the night designing a new iron man suit, feeling guilty because Barnes must have given up his turn in the bed for him.

They continue on that way for several days, Tony being woken every night by Barnes, and then staying up and designing. 

Sometimes it’s for work, he came up with the new Stark Phone on one such night, and Pepper was most pleased when he sent her the designs the next day. He has made upgrades to everyone on the Avengers team's suits and weapons, which have then been sent to JARVIS to make. 

He has also been designing a new arm, and has come up with probably 100 different possibilities for the way the arm could work. It's his favorite hobby after the nightmares now; Barnes comes, wakes him and then Tony spends the hours until dawn figuring out how that sexy piece of machinery works. 

It's a fascinating puzzle for his mind and he loves that the only way to actual know is to look at the arm and as he will likely never do that, he is glad to have a problem to work his brain around. Each idea for how it works comes with its own set of challenges on how to fix various problems that may arise, so he sometimes works on his ideas into the daylight hours as well, ignoring S.I in favor of figuring out an imaginary problem on an imaginary arm.

The young woman brings supplies every week, at random times every weekend, the code remains the same, and Barnes usually answers the door, because Tony can never pull himself out of whatever he's doing in a timely manner. 

And it's not the worst thing in the world, being stuck in a cabin in the gorgeous Colorado mountains, he's been stuck worse places as his nightmares like to remind him. But he wishes that he was here with someone else, Nat or maybe Steve. 

They at least would talk to him more, but Barnes is content with silence and keeping to himself which is maddening because there is virtually no personal space in this damned cabin. Tony is desperate for human contact, he is allowed to email because SHIELD put a program (that he created) in his computer that makes his email impossible to trace, same with his phone, but texts and calls are out as there is no cell reception, so Tony is cut off. 

And he is at the point where he will settle for talking about just about anything, it's gotta be better than the silence he is stuck in now. Barnes just doesn’t seem to have anything to say.


	3. Chapter 3

When they have been in the cabin for around three weeks, right after Thanksgiving, things change, again. 

It starts snowing, like full blown blizzard in the middle of the night snowing. Tony watches it, sitting at the kitchen table drinking hot chocolate. Barnes is asleep, after pulling Tony from another nightmare. Tony had just designed a new Stark Pad, and was just watching the snow in the light from the solar powered porch light near the front door. He loves watching it, and is still sitting there when Barnes wakes up around 7 that morning. 

The problem is that it doesn’t stop. It snows all that day and all the next night and it is still snowing when they get up the morning after that. Barnes and Tony stand in the bed room staring at the snow drift that is obscuring nearly all of their view from the sliding door. Tony is huddled in a blanket, having slid out of bed to join Barnes standing there. 

"This isn't good." Tony says. Barnes frowns and shakes his head. 

"Not much we can do about it, come on, I'll make breakfast." He says, padding into the kitchen area. Tony rolls his eyes. 

"You say that like I have cooked even once since coming here." He snarks. Barnes just smirks and starts cooking. Tony turns on his lap top and starts to upload some blueprints to S.I. when the WIFI cuts out. 

Tony frowns and tries to reconnect but it is a lost cause, a fact Barnes points out with a shrug. Tony closes his computer and stares at Barnes for lack of anything better to do while the taller man finishes cooking. They are half way through breakfast when the power goes out. Tony raises a brow at Barnes who sighs. 

"Still not much we can do Stark. Help me get stuff out of the fridge." It turns out that being forced into hiding with Barnes is actually a good thing.

He digs out a section of the snowbank by the sliding door in the bedroom and they stash all of the meat and frozen food outside. Then Barnes tests the stove, which lights, then the tap, which has water. 

"Probably no hot water. Go check in the coat closet, I think there is a giant ass box of candles in there." Barnes says, clearing all the dishes from breakfast. 

Tony feels on edge, full of nervous energy, but Barnes seems cool as a cucumber. Tony finds the huge box of candles right where Barnes said they’d be and he hauls them to the kitchen table. Barnes nods and opens the box, he sorts through them, counting them. 

"Well, there are 30 candles in here which should last us if we budget them accordingly. Food might be tricky because I'd bet the road is blocked too." Barnes says, opening cupboards, going through all the food they have. Tony just gapes at him. 

"Don't look so surprised Stark, I was in the military and then was an assassin for 70 years, I have survived in worse." Barnes snarks, and Tony shuts his mouth.

It’s dark in the cabin, but not too bad so they opt to not use any candles until absolutely necessary. Barnes opens his latest book and sits at the table, where the light is best, and Tony sits opposite him and continues his details of the arm, which proves wonderful with the very arm mere feet in front of him. 

They pass the morning and into the afternoon that way. But by early evening a new problem arises: no power means no heat, and it’s freezing in the cabin. Tony is wrapped in jeans, thick socks, and a hoodie over a long-sleeved t-shirt, with a blanket over his shoulders and he's still freezing. 

Barnes has even put on a hoodie, but seems unbothered by the cold. Barnes cooks some chicken and pasta for dinner which is wonderfully warm, and then they light a candle and huddle on the couch. Barnes just sits, and Tony curls as small as he can in his blanket and shivers. They are quiet for a long time. 

"I have a suggestion, but I don’t think you’re gonna like it." Tony whispers. Barnes turns and peers at him, the candle casting long shadows on his face. "Super soldiers run hot right?" Tony asks. Barnes nods. "Well I am freezing and there is no heat and we can’t start a fire right now because the wood isn’t dry." Tony says gesturing toward the pile of wood Barnes had hauled in from the front porch, but it had been covered in snow and now it’s damp. Barnes nods again. "There is only one bed, and I think maybe we should share it." Barnes frowns. Tony sighs and looks down. "We are gonna freeze if we sleep alone, especially whoever is on the couch. I swear I’m not hitting on you but I’m so cold and I think that if both of us are in the bed we will be warmer." Tony asks, tapping the arc reactor through his layers. "This thing saps a lot of heat from my body." Barnes debates for a few minutes, and then nods.

They get ready for bed in silence, and then slip beneath the covers, with three additional blankets thrown on top. Tony was right, it is a lot warmer almost instantly and he sighs, snuggling under the covers. Barnes is a rigid wall with his back to Tony, lying facing the door.   
"Goodnight Barnes." Tony whispers.   
"Night Stark." Barnes growls back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony wakes again to Barnes shaking him, the man hasn’t even opened his eyes just reached over with his metal arm to clasp Tony’s shoulder and jostle him. 

"'m sorry." Tony mumbles. 

"Don’t. Just didn’t want you to kill me." Barnes says. 

"I couldn’t kill you even if I wanted too." Tony whispers. Barnes huffs, but doesn’t say anything. Tony lies there, curled under the blankets for a while just listening to Barnes breathe. After half an hour of that, Barnes flops on his back and turns to look at Tony. 

"Can’t sleep with you starin'. You really not gonna sleep?" Barnes asks. Tony shrugs, and curls on his side, facing Barnes.

"I never do after a nightmare." Tony says. Barnes just blinks at him and then stares at the ceiling. 

"Wanna talk?" He offers. Tony frowns. 

"About the nightmare?" Tony asks.

"If you want. Or we can just talk in general. We are awake in the middle of the night with no power, only the sound of my arm and the light from your reactor to keep us company. And we are sharing a bed. Might as well get to know each other." Barnes says. Tony blinks and then laughs. 

"That's like the first thing you have said to me that wasn’t just about cooking or bare minimum syllables." Tony says. Barnes grins and then raises a brow at Tony, as if prompting him to talk. 

"What do you want to talk about?" Tony asks. Barnes seems to consider that. 

"Tell me about Rhodes." He says finally. Tony’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. 

"You wanna know about Rhodey?" Tony asks. Barnes nods. "Uh ok, anything specific or just in general?" Barnes shrugs. 

"Just tell me a story about him, tell me how you met, if you ever dated him, anything." Barnes says. Tony frowns at him but the shrugs. 

"We met at MIT when I was 15, I was at a party and was getting a little tipsy, ok a lot tipsy, and this beefy brunette was trying to take advantage of me, so Rhodey stepped in, said I was with him and took my ass back to my dorm and then stayed the night on the floor to make sure I didn't kill myself. He kind of adopted me from then on, he always swooped in whenever I was in trouble to help me out with something and out of tricky spots. He made sure I ate and slept and introduced himself as my best friend. We didn’t ever date, he was more like a big brother and best friend. One time, he and some of his other friends wanted to prank the engineering professors and swap all of their offices." Tony says and chuckles. 

"But they didn’t have the codes to get in to the building. I was already in the building, I was working on the early version of JARVIS and they had stolen a master key to the offices. So, I let Rhodey and all his friends in and then helped them switch the desks and computers. And the professors new it was Rhodey and his other friends, but they never suspected I helped them." Tony laughs. "They kept saying, how did they get it, Tony never would have let them in, he was too absorbed with his project, so who let them in? Rhodey was so mad, so was my dad for that matter, but I just thought it was funny." Tony finishes, smiling. Barnes smiles back. 

"Do you miss him?" Barnes asks, softly, blue eyes reflecting the light from the arc reactor. Tony sighs and curls tighter in the covers. 

"Every day, he's my best friend and I love him a lot. I'm happy he's doing what he loves and I think he's gonna propose to Pep, but I wish I saw him more." Tony says. Barnes nods. 

"I miss Steve sometimes." He admits after a few minutes. "Well, all the time really. I just spent so much time before I shipped out carin' for his punk ass and then he didn't need me anymore. And then Hydra happened. I don't wanna ask about him…" Barnes trails off. Tony chuckles. 

"He's doin' good Barnes. He's been looking for you like mad, driving Tasha nuts, but he's managing." Tony says. Barnes sighs, turns away from Tony, staring at the wooden ceiling. 

"I'm sorry, I didn’t want to ask like some love-sick school girl." Barnes whispers. Tony's heart clenches. Then he feels dumb, of course Barnes and Steve are a thing, or are going to be. 

"It's fine." Tony whispers back. Tony wonders if Wilson knows that when Barnes shows up, they will be together, maybe he just doesn’t care. Barnes yawns then, and turns to look back at Tony.

"Favorite color?" He asks. Tony blinks in surprise. 

"What?" He asks, certain he missed part of that question. 

"I asked what your favorite color is." Barnes says, firmer than before. 

"Um, red like the Iron Man suit." He says. Barnes grins. 

"I should have guessed. Mine is forest green." Barnes whispers. Tony nods, unsure why they are talking about this. "Favorite food?" Barnes asks. Tony frowns. 

"My mom's recipe for Tiramisu." Tony says. "I can never pull it off, but Pepper makes it really well, really close to the way my mom did." Tony says wistfully. Barnes smiles. 

"I've only had tiramisu a couple of times but I loved. My favorite food is probably New York Style Pizza. I haven't had it for 70 years." Barnes says a little sadly. Tony gapes at him. 

"Well, Snow Queen, when we get back to New York, I will buy you all the pizza you can eat and I'm gonna have Pepper make tiramisu." Tony says, wistfully. 

The bed is nice and warm, he can feel the cold pressing down just outside the blankets, but Tony finds he's actually kinda content. Barnes has a soothing voice and way of speaking, with the Brooklyn accent and the soft tone. He smiles and closes his eyes. 

"I'm gonna hold you to that." Barnes says, and Tony can hear the smile is his voice. "Favorite movie?" Barnes asks. Tony gives it some thought, but doesn’t open his eyes. 

"Probably Star Wars, Episode IV if I have to pick just one. You?" Tony asks. Barnes chuckles, soft and rumbly in the dark. 

"I haven't seen very many modern movies, but I love The Martian. I need to read the book, just haven't had time. But I loved how the character had to survive all alone for all that time and work against impossible odds, makes me think of myself you know? Like I can relate with his struggle. And I love the other supporting actors, there's one guy who looks a lot like I did before the war." Bucky stops and glances over at Tony. 

The genius is asleep again, eyelids fluttering and breathing slow and even. Bucky smiles. "That never worked with Stevie, he always wanted to talk. No matter how slow and even I made my voice, little punk would just lie there watchin' me, wantin' to talk about some dame he saw earlier and if I thought he'd ever have a chance with her." Bucky laughs softly, and reaches over gently with the metal arm to brush a few strands off of Tony's forehead. The genius snuffles and burrows deeper into the covers. Bucky smiles fondly and scoots a little closer so more of his body heat is shared with the man. "He wasn't as cute as you are though, not by a long shot." Bucky whispers. He lies awake for a long time watching over the sleeping man. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony wakes up alone, around 11 according to the digital battery powered clock on the nightstand. Tony sighs and glances around. And then realizes that it’s the first night in almost a month that he slept after a nightmare. 

He is surprised, and sits up glancing around. From the gap above the snowdrift against the door Tony can tell that it's still cloudy out and it's snowing lightly. He can also hear Barnes out in the living room, cooking and humming under his breath. Tony climbs out of bed, shivers into a hoodie and heads out to the living room. 

"Mornin'! Sleep alright?" Barnes calls cheerfully like they didn’t just share a bed. Tony blinks and then scans the living room. It's been rearranged. Barnes has started a fire in the fireplace and has heaped wood next to it to dry out. The coffee table has been moved and the couch is pushed really close to the fireplace. Barnes has also put the kitchen table behind the couch and his journal and pen are lying on top of it. Tony is shocked that the rearranging didn’t wake him, and he says as much to Barnes.

"Stark, I can lift the couch entirely off of the floor. You don’t think I pushed it right?" Barnes says with a shrug and a vague gesture at his physique. And hello, glorious sexy mental image of Barnes lifting a couch like it's nothing. 

Tony shakes himself out of it and heads toward the coffee machine, only to find himself with hands full of warm mug and steered toward the couch. He goes, and curls up, twisting around to watch Barnes. He hands Tony a plate of bacon, and canned fruit, as well as oatmeal. Tony frowns down at it. Barnes sighs. 

"Yeah, I know, but the power is still out. It shouldn’t taste too bad though. I did my best." He says. Tony hesitantly takes a bite of the oatmeal, and is surprised to find that it's delicious. Tony gapes at Barnes and then scarfs it down. 

"I'll take it that its good." Barnes says eating his own breakfast. They eat in silence, just listening to the fire pop. When they are finished, Barnes clears the dishes and starts washing them, shooing Tony away when he tries to help. 

Tony shivers his way through a shower and then sits as close to the fire as possible to get warm. Barnes comes up behind him draping another blanket around his shoulders and handing him a mug of tea. 

"I know I know, but it'll warm you up I swear." Barnes says, heading toward his own shower. He takes a shockingly fast shower, but other than that doesn’t seem to mind the cold. Tony doesn’t ask, but is jealous because he is still shivering. 

They spend the rest of the day like usual, except they are both sitting on the couch. Tony designs more arms, and Barnes reads. Barnes makes pasta for dinner, and they eat by candle light. Then Tony moves back to the couch, feeling bored and empty. It’s too dark to design or work problems, his phone and computer are useless and it’s too early to go to bed. 

Tony feels achingly homesick suddenly. It steals his breath, and squeezes around his chest. He frowns and hugs himself. He feels a little like he might cry, like he might start sobbing because he's lonely and bored and Barnes it seems, will only talk to him in the middle of the night. 

"Hey Stark." Barnes says. Tony turns to look at the other man, who is seated at the kitchen table playing cards.

"Let’s play slap Jack. You know it?" Tony shakes his head and gets up to sit at the table when Barnes motions him over. At first it seems rather boring, but then Tony's competitive streak kicks in and they get really heated, Tony groaning when Barnes hits the table a split second before he can and arguing over technicalities. It's the most fun he's had since arriving here. They play for a long time until Tony yawns, hugely and Barnes glances at the clock. It's nearly midnight. They get ready for bed in silence and then crawl under the covers. Both of them fall asleep relatively quickly. 

 

Tony wakes again, just at the start of the nightmare, to Barnes groaning his name. It isn't sexy groaning, (it is because it's Barnes and everything man does is sexy), but its more annoyed, tired groaning. Barnes is lying on his stomach, head turned toward Tony, arms tucked under the pillow. He cracks one blue eye open when Tony wakes with a jolt, lying on his back. He turns toward Barnes and blinks. Barnes closes his eye and Tony turns back to stare at the ceiling. 

"Wanna talk 'bout it?" Barnes asks, voice gravelly from sleep. Tony swallows, and then sits up. He scrubs his face and shakes his head. 

"No, I don't. I need water." Tony murmurs and scrambles out of bed. He practically runs to the bathroom, quite the feet given how dark it is. He shuts the door, and sinks onto the edge of the tub. He pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and breathes deep. 

That nightmare had been bad, it hadn’t progressed to the really horrible part, but still. His therapist said that this particular dream is his subconscious trying to make sense of all the trauma in his life, Tony thinks its bullshit. 

In the dream he's a child again, young and running around the mansion. And in the dream, he knocks over a display of Captain America, it had some of Steve's old things, and Howard flies off the handle. He starts beating Tony, screaming things about how Tony will always be a disappointment and how much of a failure he is. Then usually the Ten Rings come in and almost drown battered Tony, sometimes he does drown in the dream, wakes up gasping. 

But Barnes had woken Tony before the Ten Ring arrived. The problem? Howard did beat Tony that bad all the time, a couple times bad enough that Tony had to go to the hospital. And without fail, Tony is always transported back to that time after this particular nightmare. He tries to fight off the tears but it doesn’t work, they slip out beneath his hands and so he lets himself cry softly, careful not to make a sound. He's shivering and he can't tell if it's from the cold (it's fucking freezing in the bathroom) or the remembered pain. He's startled when there is a knock on the door. 

"Stark?" Barnes soft voice calls.

"Coming." Tony calls, but his voice comes out all high and shrill. Tony swallows and stands, fills a glass with water, drains it and then opens the door. Barnes is standing there in all his six-foot glory, looking concerned which just breaks Tony again. 

He can't stop the tears, and he looks down. Barnes doesn’t say anything, just scoops a startled Tony into his arms and carries him back to bed. Tony shrieks a bit in surprise, but goes willingly. Barnes sets Tony down on his side of the bed, then crosses to the other side and climbs in. Before Tony can do anything else, Barnes pulls him down and pulls him against the man's broader chest. Tony stiffens and blinks in shock. They are lying on their sides, chest to chest and Tony feels like maybe he is missing some crucial information. 

"Relax Stark. I'm not gonna eat ya, or hurt ya." Barnes breathes. "You’re shivering, and it can't be comfortable lying stiff as a board. Relax." Barnes soothes. Tony remains ridged, and it's silent for several moments. Just as the pain swells in Tony, and he is trying to figure out how to move away, Barnes starts talking softly. 

"One time when we were younger, Stevie got into a fight. We were rentin' this shitty little apartment in Brooklyn, it was really an attic, I'm still not sure how that psycho landlord was allowed to rent it. It had two rooms, and was smaller than this place if ya can believe it." Barnes says, his voice low and rumbling softly in his chest. "I had t' move in with him, cause his ma had just died and he couldn' live on 'is own." Barnes continues, the Brooklyn accent coming through thick, tinted slightly with Soviet. "We had to share a bed too, but that was cause sometimes in the middle of the night Stevie's lungs 'ould just up and quit, and someone needed to be close by t’ wake ‘im up and help. Any way, he was walkin' home after his job, I don' remember where he was workin', and saw this fella and who Stevie thought was his girl fightin'. So, Stevie goes chargin' in there, little fists swingin, only to realize that it was a brother and a sister and the girl laid them both out with two punches. He came limpin on home, and tried to slink int' the bathroom so I wouldn' see. But I could always tell when that little punk had gotten int' trouble so I yelled at him and told him to keep his nose outta other people's business." Sometime during the story, Tony had slowly melted into Barnes, and Barnes is gently rubbing his hands up and down Tony's back.

"And what does that little punk do the very next day?" Barnes says, fond exasperation coloring his words. "He goes and picks a fight with some dude twice his size, and winds up in the fuckin' hospital." Barnes cries. Tony laughs, and closes his eyes, breathing in Barnes scent. Barnes pulls him a little closer and continues to rub his back. 

"You got a favorite book Stark?" Barnes asks after a moment. Tony doesn't open his eyes, but frowns. 

"Uh… I don't read much, but I loved Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy." Tony whispers. Barnes keeps rubbing the smaller man's back in long soothing motions. Tony goes compliant in his arms. 

"That's a good one. I've been doin' a lot of readin' but I think my favorite book is Captive Prince. Ever read it?" Barnes asks, he is answered with only a snore. Bucky grins. 

"Sweet dreams Stark." He breathes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry this update is later than normal, my computer was very dead this mornin and I couldn't find my dang charger so I had to wait until later. But I'm back now! This is a longer chapter, which I hope helps make up for this! I have some things to say about it, but I don't want to spoil anything so I'll add those in the notes at the end.   
> This chapter comes with a trigger warning for mentions of past attempted suicide. Bucky speaks very candidly about his past attempt, but it isn't too graphic, and it's only like a sentence or two. If you would like to skip that bit, start reading at the sixth paragraph from the start of the chapter and you shouldn't miss anything important and it isn't mentioned again. Tony is also struggling a bit at the beginning of this chapter with depression. So this is your warning, I'll add tags as soon as this is posted.

Tony wakes alone, again. He can hear Barnes cooking in the other room but he doesn't get up. His limbs feel heavy and he feels sad, like getting out of bed isn’t even worth it. He pulls the blankets up around his chin and just stares at the wall. 

"Stark. Breakfast!" Barnes calls. Tony doesn't move, and is just trying to get the courage up to speak when the bed dips. He doesn't look, but knows its Barnes. Who else would it be, and before he can berate himself for the stupid thought Barnes' speaks. "You ok?"

Tony doesn’t move. Barnes sighs. "You gotta eat Stark. I know being cooped up in here with me kinda blows but you gotta eat." Tony doesn’t move. Barnes gets up, and Tony closes his eyes. He's surprised to hear Barnes come back, there is the sound of a plate and mug being set on the nightstand. Tony doesn't move, eyes closed. Then the bed dips on the other side again, and the head board creaks as Barnes settles against it. It's quiet for several moments. And then a hand gently brushes through Tony's hair, causing him to stiffen. The hand does it again and Tony holds his breath.

"My sister, Becca, got jilted when me and Stevie were just little kids. She didn’t get out of bed for a week, crying over some boy. I finally just came and sat with her, just talkin'." Barnes says. "I miss her." He breathes, pain in his voice. Tony frowns, he feels he should say something, but it feels like there is a pit of empty where his heart used to be and he can't find the strength. Barnes doesn't stop stroking Tony's hair though, and they sit in silence, Tony starting to feel worse. 

"I tried to end it all… after I broke the programming." Barnes breathes. Tony is so shocked that he rolls to his back and gazes up at Barnes, who is staring straight ahead at the opposite wall, eyes looking far and vacant. "But I couldn't, I figured I deserved to suffer, to feel like the pain of what I did was breaking me. And I only had a dull knife to use, so my healing factor took care of it." Barnes admits. Tony blinks, again feeling that uncomfortable stirring in his head indicating that he is meant to say something here but no words come. Barnes blows out a breath.

"I know how heavy the feeling is." He whispers. "But we have to work through it, keep up the fight. Which I know is easier said than done. So, I'm gonna do what I wish someone had done for me when I was all alone in a shitty apartment somewhere in Russia, ok?" Barnes says. Before Tony can respond, Barnes scoops him up and settles him between firm thighs and a warm chest. Tony gasps a little and blinks in confusion. Barnes wraps a blanket around him, and then grabs the plate of food. He sets it in Tony's lap, and then brings his hands to Tony's shoulders. He squeezes gently and starts to move his thumbs in slow circles into Tony's shoulder blades.

"Eat." He says simply. Tony eyes the food, he doesn't want it. But he picks up the fork and takes a bite of the pancakes. Barnes hums happily. 

"Good." He praises softly, thumbs still stroking in Tony's shoulders. Tony eats more, bite after bite on autopilot. Barnes gives him soft words of praise and soft squeezes of encouragement until all of the food is gone. 

"Good, I know you didn’t want t' eat, but it'll make you feel better I promise." Barnes whispers. He sets Tony's plate down and then hands him the coffee. Tony holds the mug in both hands, and takes small sips. 

They sit like that, in silence until Tony finishes his coffee. Then Barnes takes the mug, sets it near the plate, and scoots both Tony and himself to the edge of the bed. He swings his legs over the side, and then scoops up Tony, who squawks in protest, and carries him to the couch. He sets Tony down and starts a fire in the fireplace. 

Tony just stares at the man, unsure what's happening. When Barnes has built up the fire, he grabs a blanket and several books. He sets the books on the coffee table, and then wraps Tony in the blanket, before pulling Tony back into a position similar to the one they had used to get Tony to eat. Tony blinks in surprise as Barnes cuddles him close. 

"What…?" Tony whispers. 

"I know that you probably want human contact right now, and I'm the only one here so you'll have to make do with me. But don't worry no one has to know. And I don’t have anywhere to be." Barnes jokes. "So, I can hold you, and we can talk or I can read to you from some book, or you can nap. Whatever you feel up for." He mumbles. 

Tony feels stunned, but he's too empty to fight it, so he relaxes against Barnes.   
"Reading sounds nice." Tony whispers after a few minutes. Barnes smiles and reaches for a book on the coffee table. He tucks it under his arm and then grabs a glass of water and Tony's meds from the table as well. 

"I know you don't want t' take these, and I know that you’ve missed a couple of doses, but they help I promise. Take them, drink all this water, and then we'll read ok?" Barnes says. Tony huffs, but does as asked, if only to get it over with. Barnes sets the empty glass down on the table again, along with the meds and then opens the book. 

"I'm gonna read my favorite book, you remember what it is?" He asks, voice soft and soothing. Tony shifts a bit against his chest, and Barnes immediately moves his arms. "Go ahead, get comfortable." He encourages. Tony doesn't move for a second and then shifts around until he is lying on his stomach, with his head pillowed on Barnes' chest. Barnes tucks the blanket around his shoulders and smiles down at him. "Better?" Tony nods and sighs slowly, closing his eyes. 

"Remember my favorite book?" Barnes asks. Tony thinks for a moment, wracking his brain for the answer. It's like trying to get a computer to load a webpage while you're in a hurry, you know that the answer is right freaking there but you are running late and the damn page wont load. 

"It has something to do with a prince?" Tony asks, unsure. Barnes nods and smiles, not that Tony can see it. 

"Close enough! It's Captive Prince by C. S. Pacat. And I love it so I'm going to share it with you. All I want you to do is relax, listen, and let me know if you need anything, ok?" 

"Ok." Tony breathes, matching his breathing to Barnes, enjoying the fact that he can hear the steady rhythm of the bigger man's heart. 

"'We hear that your Prince,' said Lady Jokaste, 'keeps his own harem. These slaves will please any traditionalist, but I have asked Adrastus to prepare something special in addition, a personal gift for your Prince from the King. A gem in the rough, as it were.'" Barnes starts, his voice creating the proper inflection for the dialogue and a relaxing cadence under Tony's ear. 

They sit like that all afternoon, Barnes working his way through the book, Tony relaxing and just listening. Bucky worries, as he reads through chapter four of the novel, that Tony isn't enjoying himself but is too lethargic to say anything. Tony has been lying the entire time on his stomach, eyes closed, breathing even, but not quite as deep and slow as sleep. Bucky is debating stopping, and finding something else to do to chase away the sadness and the emptiness in those brown eyes, when Tony suddenly sits up. Bucky blinks at him and stops mid-sentence. 

"I have to pee, and I'm craving hot chocolate. Can we take a like five-minute break? I don’t want you to stop, I want to know what happens." Tony asks. Bucky grins. 

"Course. I could use a bathroom break too." Tony grins, a shadow of what it usually is, and dashes to the bathroom while Bucky gets up to go fix the hot chocolate. 

Ten minutes later, they are snuggled back on the couch, Barnes reading outload again in a low voice, while Tony is tucked against his chest, sipping hot chocolate and munching on cookies, while listening intently, wrapped up in the fluffy blanket still. 

They get almost all the way through the book that afternoon, reading like that until the light fades. Then Barnes makes dinner as usual, and Tony eats without prompting. As they are finishing, Tony looks at Barnes sheepishly and asks "Can we play cards again?" 

Barnes grins, so after dishes are done, they play war, Slap Jack, Egyptian Rat slap, and rummy. Tony laughs and teases Barnes the whole time, and Barnes grins and kicks Tony's ass at every game they play.

Tony is still chuckling as they go to bed, and he snuggles under the covers, the emptiness and sadness of this morning almost forgotten, more flickering around the edges. Of course, another person can't totally fix everything but it certainly helps. 

"Thank you." Tony whispers. Barnes smiles softly in the dark  
.   
"Of course." He breathes back, and they lie there for a few moments in silence. Tony thinks Barnes falls asleep before he does, the other man's breathing slow and his face relaxed. 

"I'm not used to people taking care of me like that. Thank you" Tony whispers so quietly it almost isn’t even spoken aloud, and gently reaches over to smooth back some of Barnes hair. He sighs and rolls over, settling in for sleep. 

Bucky doesn't open his eyes, and resists the urge to hold the broken man next to him, but his heart hurts at Tony's admission. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony doesn't have any nightmares that night, instead he dreams of princes and soothing deep voices. He wakes slowly, warm and rested for the first time in a while. He blinks his eyes open and finds himself alone, as usual. He sits up and stretches, enjoying the satisfying pop of his back. He gets up and pads into the kitchen, Barnes has made coffee on the stove, using an ancient percolator he found God knows where, so Tony fills a mug and settles at the kitchen table. He can feel some lingering sadness, like fog, in the corners of his mind. But he feels worlds better, and he ignores the niggling thought that Barnes is the reason. 

He pulls his sketch book towards himself and starts designing, he had a new idea for a Stark Watch and wants to get the designs down so that when he has power again, he can send it to the R and D department at S.I. He is so focused that he doesn’t realize that Barnes isn’t around until the front door opens, and a frightening figure steps into the room. Tony shrieks and scrambles backwards, grabbing a fork from the table and wielding it in front of him. 

The tall man huffs and pulls down his mask, and raises a brow at Tony.

"Really Stark? You’re gonna fight me off with a fork?" Barnes asks. Tony relaxes almost instantly and then chucks the fork at Barnes. He plucks it out of the air in a smooth motion, and tosses it into the sink. 

"Where the fuck where you?" Tony shrieks. "I thought you were in the shower!" Barnes laughs, and undoes some of the buckles in his clothing. Tony belatedly realizes the Barnes is wearing his Winter Soldier gear. Tony's eyes widen in panic, and before Barnes can answer, Tony is circling Barnes. The assassin raises a brow in surprise and watches the smaller man circle him. 

"You aren't hurt?" Tony demands. Barnes laughs. 

"No, o’ course not. I just went to Creede and picked up our supplies. Scared the Agent half to death, but I didn’t think she could get up here and we need the food." Barnes says, finally escaping the circling genius and going to the kitchen to put the food away. Tony frowns, and then without thinking walks up to Barnes. 

He reaches out and loosens the buckles on the back of the gear with nimble fingers and then pushes the it forward off of Barnes shoulders. The taller man goes extremely still Tony first touches him, as though he is scared to move. When Tony pushes the gear off his shoulders, he finally moves, shrugging a bit to get out of the restrictive top. 

Tony runs his hands over the man’s back, over his one sleeved shirt, feeling the toned muscles beneath his fingers. He trails his hands over the man’s shoulders and down the flesh arm. He suddenly realizes what he's doing and swallows before he steps back. 

"Sorry, I'm sorry Barnes." He says hurriedly, and then dashes to the only place he can hide in the cabin: the bathroom. 

He takes a shower, for lack of anything else to do. But it's freezing, they still don't have any hot water, so it's a fast shower. Then when he steps out, he realizes that he didn’t bring in any fresh clothes. With a sigh he wraps a towel around his waist, takes a deep breath, and leaves the bathroom. 

Barnes is cooking, and he's changed into jeans, socks, and a long sleeve shirt with a zippered hoodie over it, his hair is yanked up into a messy bun. Tony swallows and pads to the bedroom. He is gets dressed quickly, wearing jeans and a sweater. 

He walks back into the living room, after making the bed, and settles on the couch near the fire Barnes had built while he was in the shower and wraps his arms around himself. 

The two don't talk for almost half an hour, the only sounds that of Barnes cooking, and the fire crackling. Eventually, Barnes brings a plate of sausage and eggs over, and hands it to Tony. 

"You know that you c'n call me Bucky, right?" He says as he sits down on the other end of the couch.   
Tony raises a brow. 

"You call me Stark." He points out, taking a bite of his eggs. 

"Well, maybe it's time that we call each other by our first names." Barnes says. Tony sighs and then nods. 

"Ok Bucky." Bucky grins and they eat in not-quite-awkward silence. Tony is grateful that he keeps sleeping late, his body trying to catch up on thirty-ish years of shitty sleep, so by the time he is done eating its already one in the afternoon. 

Tony clears the dishes and quickly washes them in the freezing water, then sits on the couch and pulls his sketch book onto his lap to finish the Stark Watch designs. Barnes is sitting on the other end of the couch, reading. After a while, Tony completes the designs and sets the sketch book down. 

"Bucky?" He asks softly. Bucky immediately looks up, placing a silver finger on the page to save his place. 

"Yes?" 

"Can… uh…. Can we read more from that book?" Tony says sheepishly, looking down at his hands. Bucky grins. 

"Of course, let me just finish the chapter in this book." Bucky says with a smile and turns back to his page. He finishes the chapter quickly, marks his page and sets the book aside. 

"You want anything to eat or drink before we start?" Bucky asks. Tony shakes his head. 

"Well I'm gonna make hot chocolate, and I know you always want some so I'll fix ya a mug too." He says happily. Tony chuckles and curls on the end of the couch to wait. Bucky comes back over and hands him a warm mug of hot chocolate, with tons of mini marshmallows the way Tony likes it. Bucky settles on the other end of the couch, sets his mug down on the end table, and grabs the novel. 

He reaches down and grabs Tony's hooked ankles from where they rest on the coffee table and pulls Tony's feet onto his lap. Bucky carefully adjusts the blanket around Tony's feet and then, without acknowledging what he just did, opens the book and starts to read aloud. 

Tony just gapes at him for a long moment, and then decides to just roll with it, because Bucky is resting his flesh arm on his ankles, his thumb swiping back and forth in slow movements, and it feels nice.

They finish the book that night, reading the final pages as the sunlight bleeds from the room. Bucky closes the book and sets it on the end table, before gently dropping both hands to Tony's feet. He gently starts kneading the arches, fingers working gentle patterns into Tony's feet. Tony groans without meaning too and then blushes and tries to move away. 

"You... Don't have to." He breathes. Bucky grins. 

"I don' mind doll." He practically purrs. And Tony is a goner. 

No man should look this good, be this kind, and talk like that. But Tony is weak, he can’t resist, so he just sighs and settles further into the couch while Bucky rubs his feet. 

After 45 minutes of that, Bucky gets up and fixes dinner. They eat at the kitchen table, Tony still wrapped in a blanket. 

"Tell me about Pepper." Bucky asks. Tony glances up from his plate of food and quirks a brow at Bucky.

"Why do you always ask that?" He demands. Bucky frowns. 

"Ask what?" 

"Ask me to tell you about various people in my life. Why?" Tony asks. Bucky shrugs, spearing some broccoli with his fork. 

"Because I know you aren't used to being out here with only me for company, and I know that you must miss them." Is all Bucky provides, before shrugging again and going back to his food. Tony just stares at him and then sighs. 

"I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Pepper. She got me through the worst years of my life, and has always stuck by me." Tony says softly. "After Afghanistan, I was a mess. I wasn't dealing with any of my shit, and all I did was work in my workshop. She and Rhodey reached me when no one else wanted to. She told me in no uncertain terms that she wasn't gonna watch me kill myself and told me to get help. She made sure that I ate regularly, took my meds, and slept regularly. She'd sit up with me at night, working on a Stark Pad or laptop, while I slept with my head in her lap because the PTSD was so bad that I couldn't sleep by myself." Tony smiles fondly, pausing to take a bite of chicken. "I miss her. And she deserves so much better than me." Bucky frowns. 

"How long have you two been together?" Bucky asks, a crease pulling between his brows. 

"She's worked for me for something like 14 years, but it feels like so much longer." Tony answers, smiling fondly. 

"No, I mean… how long have you two been dating?" Bucky asks, not looking at Tony. 

"What?! We aren’t dating! She's dating Rhodey! I told you that! We dated for like a year several years ago but I'm a mess and she didn’t want to have to be dealing with all that in a partner. Rhodey has his shit together, and they are wonderful together." Tony says happily. Bucky's face clears, he smiles softly. 

"Sorry, I just assumed you two were still together. I've been pretty isolated; my news is apparently very outdated." He says, Tony chuckles. 

"It's fine. I'm not upset, that was a long time ago." Tony responds. Bucky smiles and they eat in silence for a few minutes. 

"What do you miss most? About being home?" Bucky asks. Tony chews thoughtfully for a few minutes. 

"I miss my workshop, and my 'bots. And I miss the team." Tony says, with a sigh. Bucky nods. 

"I miss Stevie." He breathes after a few minutes. Tony's heart clenches. Of course, he does, they haven’t seen each other in 70 plus years. That's a long time to be without your boyfriend. 

"He misses you too." Tony adds. Bucky smiles, but he doesn't look at Tony and his lashes are wet. Tony doesn't know what to do, so he reaches out and grabs Bucky's hands across the table. Bucky locks their fingers together, holding on tight. They sit in silence for long moments. 

"'m sorry." Bucky whispers a few moments later. Tony shakes his head, and squeezes the hand he's still holding. 

"No, don't. You don't need to apologize. I can't imagine what you've been through, and being apart for so long." Tony says. Bucky nods and uses his metal fingers to wipe his eyes  
.   
"Can I ask you something?" Bucky whispers, still not looking at Tony.

"Yes, anything." 

"You c'n say no. I won' be mad. But can we uh… cuddle, please? I need some physical contact." Bucky whispers. And how in the hell is Tony supposed to say no to that? Not that he wants to of course. 

Bucky is beautiful, looking like he was sculpted from Tony's fever dreams, and he's holding his hand like a life line, like an anchor, his blue eyes, when they finally meet Tony's made more brilliant by the tears and pain swimming in them. All Tony can do is nod. 

He tugs Bucky to his feet and leads him to the bedroom. They change quietly, each with their back toward each other, pulling off their jeans and pulling on sleep pants. Bucky sits on the edge of the bed, tears silently making their way down his face. Tony goes to the living room, banks the fire as best he can, and gets both of them a glass of water. 

He returns to the bedroom, sets the glasses down and sits next to Bucky. 

Bucky laces their fingers together again, they sit there like that for a long time. 

Finally, Tony's back screaming in protest from sitting like that, they move under the covers. Bucky lies on his side facing Tony looking unsure. Tony finally just moves forward, tucking himself against Bucky's chest and tangling their legs together. He wraps his arms around the broader man and holds on tight. 

Bucky tucks his face in Tony's hair and sobs. Tony holds him close, and rubs his hands up and down Bucky's back. 

"It's ok." He whispers, unsure what else to offer. "I got you, its ok. You’re finally safe, it's ok." Tony murmurs. He adjusts his position, so Bucky can bury his face in his chest and cry, hands clenched in the back of Tony's sweater. Tony gently tugs the hair tie out of Bucky's hair and combs his fingers through the soft strands. Unsure what else to do, he starts singing, low and soft, under his breath.

"My Baby's gone and I don' know why  
She let out this mornin'  
Like a rusty shot in a hollow sky  
She left me without warnin'" Tony sings softly, it’s a horribly sad song, about some man who's lost his wife and is alone to raise his daughter, Tony isn’t even sure why he chose this song. It’s something that Wilson made Steve listen to before they all went into hiding. 

"Faster than the dogs could bark  
Sooner than the sun rose   
Down to the banks in an old mule cart   
She took a flat boat across the shallows  
Left me in my tears to drown   
She left her baby daughter   
Now the river's wide and deep and brown   
She's crossing muddy waters." 

Tony sings, holding Bucky tight, fingers gently working through the long brown hair. Bucky continues to cry, and Tony suspects this might be the first time he's ever cried about the 70 years of hell he suffered. 

Tony just continues to sing, various songs from his childhood, a Spanish lullaby his mother would sing him, a classic rock song, some trashy pop song, anything, while Bucky cries himself dry. Eventually Bucky does just that and then falls asleep, still clutching Tony. 

"I got you." Tony whispers, kissing Bucky's head. "I got you, and I'll hold you until you can get back to Rogers." Tony says, ignoring the pain in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the quote Bucky reads from Captive Prince comes from the first page of the novel. The novel and characters belong entirely to C.S. Pacat, and not me, I just love that series so stinking much. The song Tony sings is Crossing Muddy Waters by John Hiatt and it is so sad but so good, and my mom always listens to it. If y'all would like an explantation of Tony's mental health as I see it in my head, comment here and I'll explain. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm not gonna lie, I had no intention of updating today, I have so much to do today to get ready for Christmas, which is so soon. But then I read a very sweet comment on this, and decided that I had time to update. Comments are my best motivator y'all, that's the key to getting me to write more.   
> Side note, time is made up and we are all gonna die. Which means that the timeline on this story is random and made up and is totally self serving, so it's ok if the timeline doesn't make tons of sense, just enjoy the fluff. This chapter is almost disgustingly fluffy.

Tony wakes later to someone calling his name. He blinks his eyes open and has to take a moment to orient himself. He's lying on his back in the middle of the bed, his head in the valley created between the pillows. His bedfellow is lying on top of him, lying on his stomach, chin propped on his folded hands, which are resting atop the arc reactor. He is settled between Tony's thighs and is just watching him, blue eyes worried. 

"You were whimpering in your sleep. 'M not hurting you?" Bucky whispers. Tony smiles and reaches up, brushing some of Bucky's hair off his face, gently cradling his face. 

"You aren't. Was probably just another bad dream." Tony whispers, yawning. Bucky smiles, closing his eyes and leans his head into Tony's palm. Tony's eyes drop shut as well, and he sighs. 

"Thank you doll." Bucky whispers after a few moments. Tony cracks his eyes open and peers at the other man.

"For what?" 

"For holdin' me, for lettin' me cry, for singin'" Bucky whispers. Tony smiles.

"Of course. Although my singing voice is nothing to write home about." Tony murmurs, sleepy and content. Bucky chuckles, and then moves, flipping so he's on his side next to Tony, draping his arm over Tony's stomach once he’s pulled the blankets up over them both. Bucky scoots backwards and encourages Tony to share the pillow. Tony goes willingly, still lying on his back, his right side pressed against Bucky. He turns his face toward the other man and closes his eyes. 

"Your turn to talk." Tony mutters, after a few minutes. He can feel Bucky still staring at him. "I usually do the talkin', your turn." 

"What do you want me to talk about?" Bucky whispers. 

"Anything you want." Tony whispers back. It's silent for a moment, Tony is almost asleep again when Bucky speaks.

"I've been away from Hydra for two years. And I was living in this condemned building in Bucharest, just hiding. Trying to get my head on straight, well not straight cause I never been straight, but you know what I mean." Bucky pauses to chuckle at his own joke, causing Tony to crack a smile, though his eyes remain closed. "But I was sleeping on this ratty ass mattress in this drafty ass building, it was awful. But I was free, so it was better than the alternative, and honestly Hydra made me sleep worse places. But one day I came back to find this big old tom cat sittin' on my bed." Bucky's voice sounds fond, and Tony smiles. "He was orange and missing a huge chunk of his left ear, and his right eye. He was covered in scars, and his fur was matted in places. He'd been around the block, and I was nervous that he was gonna attack me or steal my bed. But he just came waddling up to me and meowed up me, and then wound around my legs, glaring at me with his lone eye. So, I shared some of my dinner with him, and brushed out some of the matts in his fur, gave him a little water. And that night he slept in my bed with me, curled on my back while I crashed on my stomach, watching over me I think." Bucky whispers. 

"Did he have a name?" Tony breathes. Bucky laughs. 

"Yeah, I called him воин. He went almost everywhere with me, he would follow me to the market, would come on walks with me, everywhere. He would sleep on top of me every night no matter what position I slept in. He'd wake me up from nightmares, and would get right up in my face when I'd have a panic attack, glaring at me with his one eye until I calmed down, purring all the while. He got me through a lot." Bucky pauses, and Tony is slightly nervous about where this story is going. "Then I had to flee, Hydra was sniffing around. So, I bought a pet carrier, and a collar. And I literally sat him down and looked him dead on and explained that I had to leave and he was welcome to come with me, but he had to come in the pet carrier. He glared at me, glared at the pet carrier, glared at me again, then grabbed his favorite blanket, and marched right on over to the carrier, and crawled in." Tony laughs then, relieved.

"We eventually made it to New York, and then I contacted someone at Avengers Tower that I trusted and said I needed to hide. They told me about this place. So, me and воин rented a car from some sketchy dude and drove out here." It's silent for a few moments, Tony desperately holding back the question that he wants to ask, where is the cat now? But he doesn't want to pry or upset Bucky if this story has a sad ending. 

"I miss him. The Agent wouldn't let me keep him up here with me, so I asked the Agent to find some place for him to stay while I'm here." Bucky says, voice thick with emotion. Tony opens his eyes, finding Bucky's in the darkness. 

"I know we haven’t talked about what happens when we can finally leave, but you are welcome to come back to New York with me, well not just me, the others live there too, but you’re welcome, to come and live in Avengers Tower, and you can bring воин with you." Tony says. Bucky's face breaks into a grin. 

"He won't believe his luck, living in a boujee tower in New York, getting spoiled by superheroes. I think he'd like you Tony." Bucky says. Tony smiles. 

The night feels special, intimate. It's almost pitch black in the cabin, there is a little bit of moon light coming in from outside, in the gap between the snowdrift that acts as their makeshift freezer and the top of the sliding door. The bed is warm, the blankets and Bucky's arm a welcome weight on his chest. He reaches up his hands and holds onto Bucky's arm and shoulder. Bucky pulls him closer, they are sharing a pillow, their breath mingling in the space between them. Tony smiles at Bucky and lets his eyes drop closed. Bucky leans closer and noses along the top of Tony's head. He inhales deeply, and brushes his lips against Tony's temple. Tony hums happily and they settle into the warm silence swirling around the bed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony wakes up spooned up against Bucky, who is gently massaging his scalp. Tony hums and snuggles back into the warmth behind him. 

"Mornin' doll, how'd ya sleep?" Bucky whispers. 

Tony turns slightly to look into the bright blue eyes of his companion and smiles. 

"Good. Real good." He says. Bucky grins. "You?" 

"Good, guess what?" Bucky says, eyes sparkling.

"What?" Tony asks, warm and happy.

"Power's back on. You can have real coffee doll! No more instant crap!" Bucky says excitedly. Tony laughs, and fist pumps, flipping over onto his back to look at Bucky. 

"Praise the Lord!" Tony cheers. Bucky's face breaks into a wide grin. 

"So, I'm thinking to celebrate, you take a wonderfully long warm shower, while I cook breakfast. Then maybe we can cuddle on the couch and watch movies?" Bucky suggests. Tony beams.

"I agree. Maybe we can read the second book in the Captive Prince trilogy too?" Tony asks. Bucky smiles wider and nods. They both climb out of bed slowly. 

Tony goes to the bathroom and takes an incredibly hot shower, relishing the ability to stand under the spray for as long as he pleases. When he's done, he steps out and finds a mug of coffee sitting on the sink. Tony beams. He wraps in a towel and cradles the mug in his hands for a moment, relishing the rich aroma. He takes a long drink of the coffee and then plugs in his electric razor to clean up his goatee.   
He steps out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam and beams at Bucky who is setting the table. Bucky beams back and Tony floats to the bedroom to get dressed. 

"That was the best shower I have ever taken." He calls. Bucky laughs.

"Glad to hear it. I moved all the food back into the fridge and made breakfast. It's already whenever you are." 

Tony dresses in sweats, and joins Bucky at the table. 

They are both in a good mood, laughing and joking all through breakfast, which is really lunch given how long they both slept. Afterwards, Bucky takes a shower while Tony checks emails, and sends new designs to Pepper with the explanation that he wanted to be unplugged for a few days. She writes back immediately asking if he will be home for Christmas in a few days. Tony gapes at the screen and then pulls up his calendar. 

"Bucky! Bucky!" Tony screams, dashing toward the bathroom and wrenching the door open. "Bucky!"   
"Jesus Christ! What, what is it Tony?! Are you hurt?!" Bucky demands, ripping back the shower curtain. 

And Tony's brain grinds to a halt. Bucky is standing there, buck (heh) naked, water cascading down his toned chest and legs. Tony gapes, opening and closing his mouth, which is suddenly very dry. Bucky raises a brow and smirks. 

"Like what you see Stark?" He croons. Tony jumps and whirls around. 

"No." He says, but the way his voice breaks betrays him. He clears his throat. " I came to tell you that it is only a few days until Christmas!" Bucky laughs.

"Yeah I guess it is. We've been here for a long time." Bucky says, followed by the soft swish of the shower curtain closing again. Tony turns around again. 

"I love Christmas." Tony mutters. 

"If you're gonna stay and talk, close the door and sit on the toilet or something. You're lettin' cold air in." Bucky calls. Tony huffs and closes the door before settling on the closed toilet. 

"I always put on an Iron Man suit and Rhodey puts on the Iron Patriot suit and helps me decorate the tower. I get a huge live Christmas tree from upstate. We all go up as a team and pick it out, and Steve and Thor carry it home." Tony says, deep in thought. 

"Sounds nice." Bucky says, over the noise of the shower. 

"It's always huge and it takes all of us to decorate it. My dad never let us have a tree so my mom and I would get a very small one for my room when I was little, so I always go all out now that I’m an adult" Tony says. 

"Me and Stevie always had a small one that we put up in our apartment, always the cheapest one you could buy. We didn’t have very many decorations either, but it made it feel more festive." Bucky replies, and then swears when he drops a shampoo bottle. 

Tony frowns, he didn’t really want to be reminded of how happy Bucky and Steve were, especially because after seeing Bucky naked there is no denying that he has a crush on this man anymore. 

"Tony?" Bucky calls. Tony grunts in response. 

"Oh, thought maybe you'd left you’re being so quiet." Bucky responds. 

"Just thinking." Tony responds. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" Bucky asks. 

"Oh uh… just thinking about Christmas." Tony answers.

"You're lying." Bucky says simply. 

"Says who?!" Tony shrieks. Bucky pulls back the shower curtain just enough to flick water at Tony who gives an indignant squawk. 

"Says me! You don't have to tell me but you weren't thinkin’ about Christmas." Bucky says, closing the shower curtain again. Tony scowls and almost brings it up, but then Bucky turns off the shower and snakes an arm out to grab a towel. A second later the shower curtain is pushed back again, and Bucky steps out wearing just a towel round his waist. Tony swallows and stands to leave. 

"Hey doll, can I use your razor?" Bucky asks. Tony nods and goes to sit on the couch, after getting another cup of coffee. Bucky gets dressed in the bedroom after shaving, and then comes to sit on the couch too. 

He reaches over and scoops up Tony before depositing him in his lap, and then grabs the remote.   
"What do you want to watch doll?" He asks. Tony is just blinking at Bucky. "What? I said we were gonna cuddle and watch TV, right? Or would you rather read now?" Bucky asks. Tony gapes at him a few more minutes and then shakes his head a little to clear it and relaxes into Bucky.

"TV first." Tony says, tucking his head against Bucky's shoulder. Bucky nods and turns on the TV, before channel flipping. They decide on Greys Anatomy reruns and pass the afternoon getting rapidly caught up in the drama of the fictional doctors. 

Bucky cooks dinner like always, and then they curl back up on the couch and Bucky reads from Prince's Gambit. The heat is now working and it's pleasantly warm in the cabin again. They read all evening and into the night, Tony going warm and pliant in Bucky's arms. They read half of that book that night and then Bucky bookmarks his page and sets it aside. 

They are stretched out on the couch, Tony between Bucky's legs, nestled against his chest. Tony is dozing, warm and content. Bucky wraps both arms around Tony and holds him as close as possible. 

"The heats back on doll." He whispers. Tony grunts in response. "I can sleep on the couch if you want me to." Bucky says. 

"I don't really want to sleep alone, even if the heat is back on. Is that ok?" Tony whispers. Bucky hides his wide smile in Tony's fluffy hair. 

"Yeah that's fine doll. Why don't you brush your teeth and get ready for bed?" Bucky prompts. Tony groans, but gets up and pads to the bathroom. Bucky follows and they both stand there brushing their teeth and pulling faces at each other in the mirror, which makes Tony giggle. They are still laughing as they make their way to bed, turning off lights as they go. 

Bucky stretches before lying down, wearing just sleep pants and a t-shirt. He sneaks a glance at Tony, who is cuddled under the covers on his side, watching the other man. 

"What?" Tony breathes. 

"It's hot, I always run hot. Would you uh…. Would it be ok if I sleep shirtless?" Bucky asks, brushing some hair off Tony's forehead. Tony blinks slowly and then nods. 

"I don't mind." He whispers. Bucky pulls the t-shirt off his body and then lies down, before turning off the light. He turns onto his side to face Tony and reaches out to take Tony's hand. Tony already seems to be sleeping, breathing slow and even. 

"G'night doll." Bucky breathes, kissing Tony's forehead. Tony doesn't respond. Bucky squeezes his hand and then snuggles into the bed as well. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky and Tony wake within seconds of each other that night. Tony jerks awake right as the jeep explodes in Afghanistan in the dream, Bucky jolting to alertness far more violently seconds later.

Bucky is sitting upright panting, scrabbling around the covers for something, eyes darting around. Tony says a prayer of thanks to a god he doesn’t believe in that the power's back and turns on the bedside lamp. 

"Bucky, hey shhhhh. It's ok, just a bad dream. Bucky, babe look at me." Tony says, soft and soothing. Bucky whirls toward him, eyes a little wild as he stares at Tony. He's panting, and shaking. Tony doesn't touch him, he figures that it would scare him more. Bucky's body is covered in scars, Tony noticed them earlier when Bucky flashed him, and he can see the map that his torso has become. 

"Shhhh, it's ok. You're safe. We are in the mountains in Colorado, in a safe house remember?" Tony says, using that same steady voice. Bucky is still staring at him with wild eyes, shaking and panting. "It's ok, you're safe. You're safe Bucky." Tony promises. 

Bucky doesn’t even blink, and Tony can see a flickering in his eyes. The Winter Soldier is fighting to come out, which likely means the nightmare was terrifying. 

"Can you tell me your name?" Tony asks. 

"J-James Buchanan Barnes." Bucky stutters, his metal hand coming up to clutch his head. He squeezes his eyes shut. "No, I'm not the asset." He snarls. Tony winces, this isn’t good. 

"Shhhhh I know you're not, it's ok. Easy, you're safe. This is a safe place." Tony says then chews his lip. 

"I think that maybe Winter just needs to check things out, your brain created him to protect yourself. You are scared right now. I think he just needs to check. I think it might hurt more to fight him right now honey." Tony is too tired and worried to stop the pet names, but he doesn't think Bucky notices. 

"Don't want t' hurt ya." Bucky grits out, both hands clutching his head. Tony sighs. 

"You won't, I know that you won't. I'm not a threat, you won’t hurt me." Tony swears. Bucky shudders. "It's ok Bucky. It's ok, I'm here, you’re safe and I'm safe." Tony promises. Bucky turns tortured blue eyes on him. 

"It hurts, but 'm scared…" He breathes. Tony nods. 

"I know Bucky. I know. But the power's back on so I can use a suit to fight you off if I need to. It's gonna be fine honey." Tony promises. Bucky stares at him for a long moment, and then closes his eyes. He shudders and then opens his eyes. They are calmer now, but different. Tony holds his breath as Bucky/Winter surveys the room. He looks at Tony last.

"Safe?" He grunts. Tony nods.

"Safe." He reassures. Winter nods and looks around again, swinging back to study Tony. 

"Tony?" He asks. Tony nods.

"Winter?" Winter nods. 

"Barnes was scared. Bad dream." Winter supplies. 

"Yeah, that happens sometimes. I get them too." Winter nods again. 

"Yes. Barnes holds you when you wake up." Winter says all of this in a flat voice, with an equally flat expression on his face. Tony nods. 

"Yeah he does." Tony says. Winter cocks his head, and studies Tony. 

"We need to hold you. You had a bad dream." Winter states. Tony blinks. 

"It's ok, I'm fine." Tony says. Winter frowns. 

"Why are you lying?" Winter asks. Tony sighs and scrubs his face with his hand. "We disappointed you, we are sorry." Winter says. 

"No, no you didn’t. I swear. I did have a nightmare, you're right, but it wasn't a really bad one. You had the worse one. What do you need? How can I help?" Tony asks. Winter looks surprised. 

"No one has ever asked us that before." Winter says, sounding bewildered. Tony frowns. 

"Well Hydra were dicks so that makes sense. But I'm not, well I am, but not all the time. What do you need?" Tony asks. Winter just stares. 

"You are good." He says. Tony flushes. 

"Uh, thank you." 

"Can we hold you? You like that and Barnes likes that." Winter states, as simply as if he was stating the time. Tony nods. Winter lies down, on his back and extends his left arm. 

"Light on or off?" Tony asks. 

"Off, so you can sleep." Winter says. Tony nods, turns off the light before curling into Winter's side. He pulls the blanket up around them both, curling the metal arm around Tony. Tony sighs and settles into the bed. 

"I'm glad Barnes has you Stark." Winter says. Tony is surprised, and turns to look at Winter's face. He is staring at the ceiling.

"He's a wonderful man." Tony says. Winter nods. 

"Yes, but you are better. Sleep, it's late." Winter says. Tony means to argue, but yawns instead. He decides that he really is too tired to argue, and Winter is trailing his flesh fingers up and down Tony's side. Tony is asleep again within minutes. 

"You have made a good choice Barnes." Winter states, watching the smaller man's eyelashes flutter.   
I think so too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End notes that I didn't want at the beginning: The last line is Bucky talking to the Winter Soldier inside their head, which is more clear in my draft, but the formatting got weird.   
> In this story, Winter and Bucky are two different people, but Winter is mostly dormant. He only surfaces when Bucky is in distress as a way to protect himself and a way to cope. I just really wanted to write a Winter and Tony moment, so I did.   
> Bucky's cat's name is воин, which according to a learn Russian website, and Google translate, is Russian for warrior.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning!! This chapter is almost nothing but Christmas fluff, and might be my favorite part of the story. I am hoping to post the last two chapter on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but I may get too busy with family to do that, in which case they will be posted the day after Christmas. Thank you for the kudos and comments, I promise I will respond to comments eventually! Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Tony wakes up to some strange rustling sound from the living room. He sits up blearily and blinks around the room. He’s alone again, which has stopped being a surprise by now. He’s always a little grateful to wake up alone, means he doesn’t have to face Bucky in the morning after being cuddled by him all night. But it also sucks because waking up in that man’s arms the few times that has happened is a dream. 

He sighs and frowns again when he hears the same odd rustling sound from the living room, this time accompanied by swearing. Tony gets up, walking softly to the doorway. It takes him several more moments to process what he’s seeing. 

The front door is open, and a large green mass seems to be stuck in it. Tony frowns and clocks his head to the side, and tries to find Bucky. He can hear swearing in that sexy Brooklyn accent from somewhere in the green mass but he can’t see the man. 

Suddenly there’s a triumphant crow and the mass slips forward into the room. Tony can now tell it's a tree, an evergreen tree of some sort, sevenish feet tall and neatly sawed at the bottom. Tony frowns at it and then turns to Bucky, who is leaning against the door, looking mighty pleased with himself. 

"Surprise!" He says beaming. Tony frowns. 

"It’s a tree?" He responds. Bucky laughs, and shakes his head, sending pine needles raining to the floor. 

"I thought you were suppose ta be a genius." Bucky teases. Tony quirks an eyebrow at the man and tilts his head at the tree. 

"I am but I still have no idea why there’s a tree here?" Tony points at the tree, wondering if Bucky is confused. Bucky laughs. 

"Boy you purdy but you're dumb. It's a Christmas tree!" Bucky points out. Standing the tree up he grins at Tony, and Tony gapes at it. 

"You went out and chopped down a tree?" Tony says, emotion thick on his voice. Bucky frowns. 

"Well, yeah. You said you were missin’ home and wanting a tree 'nd I thought that you'd like one. I didn’t mean to upset ya, I just wanted to surprise ya. ‘M sorry doll." Bucky says softly. And Tony doesn’t trust himself to speak. So instead he hurdles across the room and hugs Bucky. 

Bucky lets out a soft oomph, more from surprise than anything, and grins down at the messy haired genius. 

"I found some decorations in the coat closet, and I thought we could string popcorn garlands and paper chains like people did way back when." Bucky says softly. Tony nods against his chest, not trusting himself to speak. Bucky gives him a squeeze and releases him to go put the tree in its stand. He adds some water to the stand and sets the tree in the corner of the room, next to the bathroom door. He grabs an old candy cane print blanket from the closet and wraps it around the base. 

"They have some decorations and some lights, but no tree skirt so this should work. You wanna make some popcorn after breakfast?" Bucky asks. Tony nods, the emotion in his chest nearly choking him. He sinks into a chair at the table watching Bucky cook. He's humming a Christmas carol, softly as he cooks, and Tony wants to sob. This man is gonna be the death of him. Bucky sets a plate full of food in front of him, gently nuzzling his forehead. 

"Eat up doll. We got some decorating to do." Bucky purrs and sits down at the table. But instead of sitting across from him, Bucky moves his chair over to the side of the table right next to Tony and tucks into his breakfast. His knee bumps against Tony's under the table and Tony is too stunned to move. 

"Ya know, this was my first time cuttin down a tree for Christmas. It was wonderful, the air is so crisp and clear here." Bucky says. Then peeks at Tony. 

"We need to talk about last night, don’t we?" Bucky asks. Tony jumps and then looks at him, before shrugging, the rapid mood and subject change jolting him a little.

"We don't really need to talk about it. It's fine." Tony mumbles. 

"You're being weird. We need t' talk about it." Bucky replies, setting down his fork. "Did the Soldier say something to you?" 

"What? No, we just cuddled." Tony says kind of surprised.

"Then why are you being weird doll?" Bucky asks, brow furrowed, eyes worried.

Tony stars at Bucky, at his incredible blue eyes, that lickable jaw line, that extremely tempting mouth, and his beautiful brown hair that just begs to be pulled, and sighs. He can't tell Captain America's long-lost boyfriend that he is falling in love with him. Maybe he just likes hurting himself, and doesn’t want to give up those incredibly warm arms. He also doesn’t think he can handle being trapped in a cabin with a man who doesn’t return his feelings. Because really, how the hell do you complete with Steve Rogers? So, Tony sighs again and smiles a little at Bucky. 

"Just kinda homesick. Steve always loves decorating for Christmas. Feels weird being so far away from the team, and with like no contact to any of them." Tony says. Bucky's face falls just a little bit. 

"Oh. Yeah that makes sense." Bucky sighs. Tony feels confused again, figuring Steve would have been a safe topic. 

Its silent for a while, both men lost in their thoughts. 

Tony clears the dishes on autopilot, starting the hot water to wash then. He wonders about next Christmas, stuck surrounded by couples, Rhodey and Pepper, Clint and Nat, and Steve and Bucky. It almost breaks his heart, thinking of having to celebrate while everyone else is happy and in love. 

"Ok, that's it. You're thinkin so hard about something I can hear your damn thoughts. You don’t have to talk about it but stop. The dishes can wait." Bucky says, from right behind Tony and then he scoops him up. Tony shrieks and clings to Bucky. 

"Why is picking me up such a thing with you?" Tony snaps. Bucky grins. 

"You're small, and easy to pick up. And you make that adorable shrieking noise when I do." Bucky supplies. Tony pouts. 

"I am not small, nor am I adorable when I'm shrieking." Tony snaps. Bucky just grins. 

"You are small. How tall are you anyway?" Bucky asks, still holding Tony like he’s nothing. 

"I'm not freakishly tall like some people." Tony frowns and glares at Bucky "I'm normal sized." Bucky chuckles. 

"Whatever you say Stark. Come on, let's decorate our tree. Start popcorn, but old-fashioned way, on the stove. I'll put the lights on the tree and then we can hang the ornaments I found and I'll teach you how to make those popcorn garlands." Bucky says. Tony finally grins and let's Bucky show him how to make the popcorn. 

Tony fondly watches Bucky hang the lights with care, and decides that maybe next Christmas he will be alone, but for this Christmas he has Bucky all to himself. Tony makes a ton of popcorn, and then fills several bowls with it before going over by the tree. 

Bucky hands him the box of ornaments. They are old, faded and cheap. Baubles in blue and white made of plastic and covered with glitter that rains down in sparkling showers every time they are picked up. There are also a couple of those ridiculous cheap novelty ornaments of the Grinch and Santa on skis, all of which weren't originally covered in glitter but are now.

Tony meticulously hangs the ornaments, so no two colors are near each other and so they are evenly spaced, while Bucky just casually hangs ornaments where ever he pleases. Tony huffs. 

"Buuuuucccckkkkky!" Tony wails. "We are hanging ornaments in alternating colors, silver then blue. You just hung a blue snowflake by a blue orbish thing! You are ruining the design!" 

"Correction doll, you are hanging ornaments in alternating colors. I am decorating a Christmas tree." 

Bucky says, and then stares down Tony while hanging four silver glittery baubles on the same branch.   
Tony glares at him and Bucky stars right back. Tony finally breaks eye contact to glance down at the now empty box in his hands. The bottom is covered in a layer of glitter. Tony looks back up at Bucky and grins his best evil genius grin. 

He’s standing on the coffee table, making him and Bucky the same height. With a cackle, Tony holds out the box and then upends it over Bucky’s head, raining glitter all over him. Tony crows triumphantly and dashes out of reach. 

"Oh look, the big bad, scary Winter Soldier is all dolled up for the holidays. We should call you the sparkly soldier." Tony taunts, all while giggling madly. Buck is wearing Jean's and a black t-shirt, and is covered in glitter. Its clinging to every inch of his hair, and a fair amount is stuck in his eyebrows. What didn’t get caught in his hair is clinging to his shirt and pants, as well as his skin. Tony is laughing so hard he’s barely breathing. 

"Not so scary now, all covered in AHHHHH!" Tony cuts off in a shriek as Bucky lungs for him. 

"Why you little..." Bucky calls, vaulting the couch in between them. Tony turns and flees into the bedroom. 

For such a small cabin, Tony actually gives quite the chase, using his size to his advantage and dodging Bucky every time he gets close. They both vault over the furniture and almost topple the tree on several occasions. 

Both are laughing, Tony shrieking every time Bucky almost catches him. Tony knows Bucky is letting him escape, but still loves the chase. Eventually though Bucky gives a growl and lifts the couch out of the way. Tony is so stunned by the show of strength that he doesn’t move. Bucky grins like a wolf and scoops Tony up in one fluid move, cackling triumphantly. 

"Got ya!" He cries, and dumps a wiggling Tony on the couch before pressing his own weight on him to keep him from escape. Then Bucky, grinning evilly, shakes his head like a dog, so glitter goes raining down on tony. Tony shrieks and tries to move away. But Bucky doesn’t let him, tousling his hair to get the glitter more firmly embedded. Tony growls and does the same, messing those long locks to keep the glitter there. But all he ends up doing is getting more on himself. 

Tony starts giggling and can’t stop, because Bucky with glitter in his hair is highly amusing. Tony reaches above him for the end table and grabs his phone. He’s still laughing and he takes a picture, leaning back to get Bucky's glitter covered glory. He grins at the photo and the puts the phone back on the table. 

He threads his fingers back in Bucky's hair and smiles at him, a few chuckles still escaping. Bucky's eyes have softened, and he reaches out to brush some glitter off of Tony's cheek, the gesture oddly tender. 

And just like that Tony is suddenly very aware of how they are lying. Bucky is a welcome warm weight on Tony, and his breath is warm across Tony's face, their noses inched apart, fingers in each other’s hair. Tony swallows, eyes flickering down to Bucky’s mouth. 

"Maybe....maybe we should go make the garlands?" Tony croaks. Bucky frowns but nods and gets up quickly, before helping Tony up. They cross to the table. 

"Ever done this before?" Bucky asks. Tony shakes his head. Bucky smiles and threads a needle with fishing line and shows Tony how to get the popcorn on the line. 

Tony orders his by size, alternating between large pieces and small, Bucky just choosing random pieces of popcorn. They sit in silence for a while, the air charged between them. 

"Tell me something." Tony says breaking the silence. It's getting dark outside and Bucky had just built a fire. The tree is glowing and the cabin feels cozy, warm and safe. 

"What do you want me to tell you?" Bucky asks. 

"Anything. Tell me a story." Tony says. 

"Um... one time I went on a date. It was in the 30s. And I took this guy out. Which was scandalous of course. And I didn’t tell Stevie, but I told my sister Rebecca. Stuff happened you know? So, I wanted someone to know. Just in case. Well the date went horrible, he was such a jerk and God it just sucked. So, I like trudged home and flopped down on the couch next to Becca. And she just looked at me and said 'That bad huh?' I'd just nodded, and then she asked if I wanted her to beat him up." Bucky pauses to chuckle. "She got married shortly after I shipped out, I had to miss it. same with my other siblings’ weddings. I've missed a lot. They are all old now Becca passed away a year ago, and my other siblings are in nursing homes or dead too." Bucky sighs. "I'm sorry. I meant to tell you a funny story. But Becca loved Christmas, makes me think of her." Tony nods. 

"My mom loved Christmas." Tony says, setting down his popcorn garland and looking at the tree. "My dad never had time but my mom loved it. So, did Jarvis and Anna." Tony sighs and glances back at Bucky, his eyes are shuttered with pain. 

"Tony...I need to tell you something." Bucky says, misery in his voice. 

"If this is about something when you were the Winter Soldier, I already know what you are gonna tell me." Tony says. Bucky's eyes widen.

"You do?" Tony nods. 

"I knew it was the Winter Soldier, I found that out a few years ago while going through SHIELDS stuff. I didn’t know the Winter Soldier was you until the agent told me before I showed up." Bucky looks shocked.

"And you can stand to let me hold you? You can stand to be near me. I know we should have talked about this sooner, but I just couldn't." Bucky breathes. Tony smiles, and reaches over, squeezing Bucky’s hand, before he ties off his garland and takes it over to the tree. He starts at the bottom and winds it up as high as he can. 

"I was pissed at first, and sad. But then I realized that it was Hydra and not you." Tony calls over his shoulder, stepping back and fussing over the tree. 

"I made my peace with it, and honestly I never blamed you. You don’t blame the pawns when it's the bigger organization like Pierce you gotta blame. Even before I knew it was you, I pitied the poor man who was forced to become that. It wasn’t your choice." Tony moves an ornament. "So, quit beating yourself up and finish your garland so I can finish my tree." Tony cries flapping his hand. Bucky chuckles and brings his string of popcorn over. He adds it to the tree, bringing it all the way up to the top.

"It’s not just your tree Stark." Bucky snarks. 

"Well you decorate like an animal so it is my tree." Tony snarks right back. Bucky chuckles and sits on the sofa, watching Tony fuss with the tree. 

He sips on a beer and wonders how a person like Tony even exists. Tony turns off all the lights except for the tree. He grins at the it and then grins at Bucky. Bucky grins and pats the couch cushion next to him. Tony smiles and makes his way over. He sits next to Bucky and then curls up against his side, sighing happily. 

"Wanna watch a movie doll? Or I could read some more?" Bucky asks. 

"I kinda just like lying like this, if that's ok." Tony breathes, relaxing into Bucky’s side. Bucky smiles, nuzzling Tony's hair. 

"That sounds perfect doll." Bucky snags a blanket and wraps it around his lap and Tony's shoulder. They lie like that for a while, listening to the fire pop, enjoying each other’s company. Tony falls asleep after a while. 

Bucky smiles, and kisses Tony's hair. He finished his beer and then scoops Tony up and carries him to bed. He lies him down, and tucks him in. He kisses his forehead and then goes to bank the fire and turn off the Christmas tree. He brushes his teeth and goes back to bed. He climbs in and settles under the covers on his back. The second he is settled, Tony rolls over and curls against his chest. 

"Thought you left me." Tony mumbles. 

"Nah doll, I wouldn' do that." Bucky mumbles back.

"Good. Can' sleep withou' you." Tony whispers, and cuddles closer. Bucky tightens his arms around the smaller man, and nuzzles his head. 

"’m not goin anywhere baby, I promise." Bucky breathes. He kisses Tony's head and the pair drift off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I did it! I'm updating on Christmas Eve!! I frantically edited this, while wearing my fancy clothes for our dinner plans, and racing the clock so my computer doesn't die! Merry Christmas to you all!! Sorry the end of this chapter isn't quite as fluffy as the rest, the boys are idiots sometimes! Happy reading!

Tony is happy, for the first time in a long ass time, he is actually happy. He and Bucky cuddle almost constantly, especially at night and the nightmares have slowly gotten better for both of them. Tony wakes up on Christmas Eve, next to a peacefully sleeping Bucky and realizes two things. 

The first, is that he’s in love. Hopelessly, irrevocably, in love with the beautiful man beside him. Which should be concerning, given how little time they have spent together, but Tony isn’t even surprised. It makes sense given everything.

The second, is that this is the happiest he’s been in a while. Spending time with Bucky, laughing at stupid jokes, tinkering with the toaster, designing for S.I. It's almost like the rest of the world fucked off, ceasing to exist except for him and Bucky. Sure, he misses his bots, and being able to go to a coffee shop, and oh lord what Tony wouldn't give for a pizza right now. But still, he is content, something inside of him that was shaking since Afghanistan is finally settled. Like the beast inside curled up by a warm fire for a peaceful nap. 

Tony is acutely away that any second, they could be called down off the mountain. An Agent or Natasha will come busting in and take them home, and the second they do it's gonna be all over. Tony feels like they are in a snow globe, like the one his mom had when he was a kid.

His mom had this beautiful snow globe from her childhood, it had been sat on the mantle above the fire place. She would sit baby Tony in her lap sometimes and hold the snow globe for him to admire, letting his pudgy baby fist gently caress the glass. Tony barely remembers the scene inside, some mountains covered in trees or something, with a fragile little cabin inside.

The snow globe is gone, Howard had smashed it in one of his rages, after hitting both Tony and Maria. Maria had been crushed, watching the little white pieces of snow swirl around in the liquid between pieces of broken glass. Howard had never apologized, and Tony had moved out and away not long after that, barely coming home. 

Tony feels a little like right now, he and Bucky are in that snow globe. Protected in a bubble, isolated, beautiful, safe. But someone will smash it, and Tony will be shattered. 

"I've never met someone who thought so damn loud as you do." Bucky grumbles, jolting Tony out of his thoughts. Tony chuckles. 

"Sorry Bucky-bear." 

"Stevie's breathin' never fuckin' woke me up as much as your damn brain does. And that little punk used to breath with a sound like rattlin' cans." Bucky continues to grumble, burying his head in the pillow. Tony grins.

"I didn't mean to." Tony whispers. Bucky just huffs. 

"Talk 'bout it." It isn't a question. 

"That's ok. It's Christmas Eve Bucky!" Tony squeals, shoving Bucky's shoulder, and then leaping out of bed. 

He makes coffee, and shoves a mug into the sleepy super soldiers’ hands. Bucky grumbles more from the door way of the bedroom, looking gloriously rumpled and watches as Tony flings himself at the couch before turning on the TV. 

"Bucky, Bucky Bucky!" Tony whines, when Bucky yawns and turns back to bed. "It's Christmas movie time! Come on!" Tony cries, pouting. Bucky sighs. 

"I need breakfast. And I can see the movie from the kitchen so calm down." Bucky says walking over to the stove. Tony cranks the volume of the old cheesy Rudolph movie and curls on the couch with his coffee. Bucky smiles fondly and grabs some food from the fridge. 

Bucky sets a huge plate of food in front of Tony a little later, and watches the man eat fondly. Tony is still nice and trim, all lean muscle that Bucky can feel under his clothes when he holds the other man. But after nearly two months of eating Bucky's cooking he’s softened a little, he's put on a little bit of weight, and Bucky thinks he looks incredible. the genius finally looks as though someone is taking care of him, and something in Bucky thrills at the knowledge that he is the one who did that. 

Tony eats all of the food, sets the plate on the coffee table, and then snuggles into Bucky's side. Bucky smiles down at him, pulling him closer while wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. 

"What's the plan for today doll?" Bucky murmurs. 

"Cuddles and movies?" Tony asks, tilting his head up to look at Bucky. He grins down at the smaller man. 

"Cuddles and movies sound like the perfect way to spend Christmas Eve." Bucky says. He gets up to clear the plates, gently moving Tony, before starting a fire and then curling back on the couch with Tony.

Tony has a passion for Christmas movies it turns out, spouting trivia and criticizing the actors all day. They curl around each other, content to be held by the other. Bucky makes an elaborate dinner, of ham and vegetables, with a pie for desert. Tony sits on the counter while Bucky cooks. 

"Favorite Christmas memory go!" Tony says, sipping hot chocolate. 

"Well I'm the oldest, an' I got two little sisters and little brother. My parents didn't want us to get up too early on Christmas morning, to see what Santa brought, so they said we couldn't get up until 8 in the mornin'. And Beccs didn't want to miss out on the fun, but she also didn't want my little brother to get up before us, so she decided that we were all gonna sleep in her room. She made me and my brother sleep on the floor, and Beth slept in the bed with her. It was before I met Stevie, but it became a tradition between us, we would always sleep in the same room on Christmas Eve." Bucky pauses in his cooking and smiles fondly at the memory. Tony grins.

"That sounds wonderful. I wish I had had siblings. It was always just me." Tony sighs wistfully. 

"What's your favorite memory?" Bucky asks, going back to cooking. Tony grins. 

"First Christmas with Steve and the team." Tony says. "I wasn't gonna celebrate it, I was still dating Pepper then, but I had just made her CEO and she was gonna be overseas for that Christmas. So, I was gonna set up a small tree in my penthouse and that was that. But Steve came in to my room on Christmas morning and dragged my ass to the common floor. He had cut down this huge tree and the team had decorated it, saving some for me of course. Steve cooked, and Nat baked cookies. We spent all day just relaxing in our pjs, and sharing stories. Then Steve put on cheesy slow Christmas music and we all slow danced to it. It was absolutely ridiculous and I loved it." Tony says fondly, a little nostalgia tinging his smile.

 

"Who'd you dance with doll?" Bucky asks, grinning. Tony smiles back. 

"Well Clint and Nat are married so they danced together, and Thor insisted on dancing with Bruce, because Bruce would have rather sat it out and Thor loves dancing, and I danced with Steve." Tony says. "He's an incredible dancer." 

Bucky swallows around the lump in his throat, he had never thought that Tony was Steve's type, Steve always seemed to prefer blonde men and brunette women, but that had been 70 years ago. A lot could have changed. 

The dinner is incredible, of course. And Bucky almost dies when Tony moans around a bite of apple pie, eyes dropping closed, savoring the bite. They wrap up the left overs for tomorrow and then Bucky goes over to Tony's phone, charging on the counter. He pulls up some cheesy Christmas music, and the soft strains of Have yourself a merry little Christmas, fills the room. He turns off the lights, makes sure the tree is still on, and builds up the fire. Then he goes to the kitchen table and pulls Tony to his feet.   
"Buck, I gotta finish this email." Tony protests. 

"It's Christmas doll. Work will be there later. I want to dance with you." Bucky breathes, voice low and rumbling. Tony gapes at him, and Bucky pulls Tony into an embrace, flesh hand on his hip, metal fingers picking up Tony's right hand. He turns Tony in a slow circle. 

"I know I'm not Stevie, but I think slow dancing to Christmas music is a wonderful way to celebrate." Bucky adds, voice still slow and soft. Tony flushes, and lets Bucky lead him in a slow circle. The song changes to another slow soft version of Silent Night, and Tony snuggles against Bucky's chest. Bucky brushes a kiss against his hair and resorts to swaying slowly. 

The night feels magical, snow is gently falling outside, the tree is beautiful and bright, and wrapped in each other's arms, neither Tony nor Bucky wants to be anywhere else. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They dance for a long time, until Tony yawns hugely and Bucky, smiling fondly, suggests maybe they go to bed. Tony agrees and shuffles to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Bucky finishes cleaning from dinner, and then when Tony is done in the bathroom, Bucky brushes his teeth. 

Tony is sitting up in bed, yawning, and watching the snow when Bucky comes into the room. Tony smiles sleepily, looking relaxed and content. Bucky smiles back and crawls into bed too. Tony immediately folds into his side when he is settled and Bucky grins. 

"I got dancing for Christmas and you get to share a room, just like our favorite Christmases." Tony mumbles. Bucky chuckles and kisses the top of Tony's head. 

"Right you are baby." He breathes. Tony sighs happily and curls closer still. They lie like that for a few blissful moments, watching the snow, Bucky had left the tree on and the bedroom is bathed in a sleepy glow. 

"Bucky?" Tony whispers. Bucky grunts in response, almost asleep. "I…. Think I have a new favorite Christmas." Tony breathes. Bucky's eyes fly open and he turns to look at Tony. 

"Yeah?" He breathes. Tony is propped up on his elbow, eyes wide and soft in the dark. 

"Yeah. Thanks James." Tony breathes and then flushes a deep red. Bucky reaches up and cups Tony's face.   
"I have a new favorite Christmas too Anthony." Bucky breathes. Tony's eyes widen and he leans closer, slowly, hesitantly. Bucky closes the distance and gently brushes their lips together. It's chaste, barely there, both of them pulling back to eye the other, unsure about the reaction. 

"Merry Christmas." Tony whispers. Bucky smiles. 

"Merry Christmas." Bucky, breathes back, pecking Tony's lips one more time before rolling on to his side. Tony lies down and cuddles close, chest to chest, legs tangled together. 

"Bucky?" Tony asks again. 

"Shhh doll. Sleep, it's Christmas, and we can talk later." Bucky rumbles, rubbing his hands up and down Tony's back. Tony nods against his chest and curls closer. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony is singing in the shower. Bucky is unashamedly listening while he bakes, humming along. Tony pulled up some playlist of Christmas music and is belting the lyrics to Michael Buble's version of Jingle Bells over the sound of the water. Bucky is baking, making scones, cookies, and miniature tarts filled with apples and cheese, all recipes of his mother’s that he had memorized before the war. 

They had both slept late, and woken wrapped in each other's arms. Tony had sleepily wished Bucky Merry Christmas again and then muttered something about coffee before stumbling from bed. After coffee he had announced he needed a shower. 

They are both avoiding the conversation, Bucky is stress baking and Tony is taking the longest, hottest shower he can. But eventually the hot water runs out, so Tony reluctantly steps out of the shower, and gets dressed. He puts on a faded pair of blue jeans, the kind that settles low on his hips, and a long sleeve shirt patterned like an ugly Christmas sweater, in red and gold with tiny Iron Man helmets in the design. 

He steps out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam and breathes deep. The cabin smells amazing, exactly the way Tony always thought Christmas should smell when he was a kid. He smells blueberries, cinnamon and clove, apples and sugar. Tony follows his nose to the kitchen and gapes at the amount of baked goods spread all over every surface. 

"Damn Bucky!" Tony whistles. Bucky glances at him, tosses a strand of hair out of his face and continues maneuvering trays of cookies out of the oven. "Did you use all the baking supplies? We don't know how long we will be here!" Tony teases. Bucky doesn't say anything, just nods toward Tony's phone. Tony picks it up. 

From Spangles: Tony!!!! Did you hear?! It's safe, we can go home!! Coulson said that they will come get you asap! We won't be together today, but I swear we will see each other tomorrow! 

Tony frowns. Bucky is not looking at him and looks upset. 

"Bucky?" Tony asks, stepping closer, putting his phone down. "What's wrong? We get to go get воин, and go see Steve. Isn't that a good thing?" Tony asks, confused as why the prospect of seeing his long-lost lover has Bucky looking so sad. Bucky shrugs. 

"Nothing. Just distracted, I guess. Lots of memories today, I guess. But I know you have missed Steve and the team." Bucky answers, sounds clipped and deliberate. Tony frowns but isn't sure what to say. Before he can come up with something to say, there is a knock at the door. Both men jump, and look toward the sound accusingly. 

The next few hours are a rush of travel. The knock was two agents from the new SHIELD, with a Forest Service truck, come to take them down the mountain. Bucky and Tony pack up all of their stuff, and then drive down the mountain.

Bucky insisted on packing up all of his baked goods, and Tony debated taking the tree with them. Ultimately, he decides against it, sighing sadly and turning the lights off. 

They stop at the small SHIELD base in Creede, and Bucky hands over scones and cookies to the harried looking kid holding a pet carrier. He shoves the pet carrier at Barnes and leaves. Bucky grins down at the snarling cat in the carrier, and Tony's heart swells. 

"Here, these are your boarding passes and the keys to your rental car." An agent says. "We can't spare someone to drive you all the way to Denver, but it's only a few hours. We got you a hotel near the airport for tonight, and then you have an early flight out to New York tomorrow morning." Tony nods, and snatches the keys. 

Bucky thanks the agents and helps them load the car, settling the pet carrier in the back seat. Tony climbs in the driver’s seat and soon they are pealing out of Creede. Bucky opens the pet carrier when they are on the road, cruising toward the mountains, blazing through sleepy little towns. Bucky holds the giant orange cat up and looks it in the eye. 

"Missed you, you great beast." Bucky grumbles. The cat gives a reluctant meow, and then purrs. Bucky sets the cat on his lap, and the animal stretches and then curls up on Bucky's thighs. 

"Tony meet воин, воин meet Tony." Bucky says. Tony chuckles, and offers his hand to the cat, who sniffs it, head butts it and then turns back to Bucky, closing his eye and purring happily. Tony smiles at the two, radiating happiness at being reunited. 

Tony can feel anxiety clawing at his throat the longer they drive, and he is nearly panicking by the time they park at the hotel. Tony practically shoots out of the car, and leans against it shaking, almost rattling the whole car, while Bucky barters with воин so the grumpy cat gets back into his pet carrier. 

He finally emerges from the car, pet carrier tucked under his arm and then grabs their bags, eyeing Tony curiously. Tony ignores him and takes off for the hotel lobby. He checks them in in abrupt sentences, the agents got them separate rooms. 

Tony shoves a key card at Bucky, placing it on top of the pet carrier and then dashes toward the elevator. Bucky flashes an apologetic look at the clerk and follows Tony. 

"You ok doll?" Bucky asks in the elevator, both of them staring at their reflections. 

"Fine." Tony grunts, Bucky cocks an eyebrow and sighs. 

"You're lyin'." It isn’t a question. Tony doesn't say anything, just shoots out of the elevator to his room. He is about to go into his room when Bucky huffs, setting down the pet carrier. 

"You forgot that I'm carryin' you bag doll. Now talk to me, what's the matter with you?" Bucky asks, handing over Tony's bag. Tony takes it and elbows open the door. 

"No, I'm fine, night!" Tony says and slams the door in his face. Tony throws his bag at the bed and pulls out his phone, punching in the number. 

"Good Christ Anthony Edward Stark it is 11:30 at night on Christmas!" 

"I'm so sorry Honeybear, please apologize to Pepper for me. But I'm having a crisis." Tony cries. Rhodey sighs. 

"It's Christmas and you are in the Bahamas with your new beau, how is there a crisis?" Rhodey points out. 

"Only one part of that is true. I was hiding from Hydra. I'm in a hotel in Denver. And there's a crisis because I was hiding in hiding with a very attractive man and I think I went and fell for him, and I can't tell you who it is but I know you can guess because he is the reason, I know that I like men." Tony spits out all in a rush, resulting in silence from the other line. 

"That's a lot…. Ok. Well you talked about a lot of men in college, so give me a minute. Wait, you said you were stuck there with the guy who made you realize you liked men? But you said that it was…. And there's no way." Rhodey says. Tony stamps his foot impatiently. 

"Get there faster please!" Tony snaps. Rhodey huffs, the sound crackling on the phone.   
"Sorry, love. I know it is, but it's Tony." Rhodey says, slightly muffled, like he moved the phone away as he talked to Pepper. "Ok, bear with me Tones. You told me drunk at a party at MIT that you realized you liked dudes when your dad compiled all those are pictures of the Howling Commandos. Namely pictures of Cap and Sergeant Barnes." Rhodey says slowly, Tony doesn't stop his pacing and makes a noise of agreement. 

"Ok, and you always said that well Cap is a gorgeous specimen, you prefer Tall Dark and Handsome with your coffee, if I remember correctly. So that means that you were holed up in a safe house with Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, only that's not possible because he died during World War II." Rhodey says. Tony sighs. 

"It's very possible., because Hydra are dicks." Tony says softly. 

"Holy. Shit." Rhodey responds. 

"Yeah." Tony says on a sigh. There's a pause. 

"Rhodey?" Tony whispers. 

"Tones." 

"We shared a bed, for almost two months. But like we didn't have sex, we just cuddled and slept next to each other, and he's so nice Rhodey." Tony whines. "And he's warm, like physically warm, and he's so hot, and he's funny." Rhodey huffs again.

"Why is this a problem?" Rhodey asks.

"Because I think he and Spangles are going to get back together when we get back tomorrow and who am I to get in the way of a romance that has survived for 70 years of being apart and frozen?" Tony says miserably. Rhodey sighs. 

"How do you know this Tones? Has he told you that he's gonna get back with Cap?" Rhodey asks. 

"No but I can tell from the way he talks about him." Tony says, sitting on the bed. 

"Well, Tones, I hate to say this, but you know that if you just go to his hotel room and tell him you like him, you'll find out, one way or the other." Rhodey points out. "Oh, hey Nat, just give me a sec, I'm on the phone with Tony." There’s a pause.

"Tones, you know my rule, either fix the problem or quit your bitchin." Rhodey says softly.

"I hate that rule." Tony whines. 

"I know, but really, just talk to him. I'm sure it'll be fine. Then either way you know." Rhodey says. "I got to go Tones, but I'll see you tomorrow." 

"Fine, see you tomorrow Honeybear." Tony says, and when Rhodey disconnects the call, he flops back onto the bed. Tony huffs, Rhodey is wrong, Bucky and Steve are clearly still in love, and their reunion tomorrow will likely be an incredibly sweet one, with Tony's heart breaking the whole time. Tony sighs, and then gets up. He sets up his lap top at the desk, and then starts the coffee pot. He doubts he can sleep without Bucky, and doesn't really want to try. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Tony had slammed the door in Bucky's face, Bucky had been hurt. He had crossed the hall to his hotel room, and let воин out of his cage. The cat glared at him and then walked to the window to stare out. Bucky had debated what to do, and finally had picked up the phone from the hotel and dialed a number from memory. 

"I swear if this is a sales call, you will be sued." The voice is just as Bucky remembered it, blunt and to the point, holding enough of an edge to make you think twice about crossing her. 

"It is not good to keep the same number for so long Natalia." Bucky said, in Russian. Old habits die hard and he doubted this was a secure line. Natasha swears. 

"You are supposed to be dead." She breathes, also in Russian. 

"You didn't honestly think that tussle in Budapest would kill me, did you?" Bucky responds, pacing to the window. 

"No, I didn’t, but you didn't really surface again." Natasha answers. 

"You are one of the world's greatest spies, you knew where I was." Bucky says. 

"I hate that I couldn't ever lie to you." Natasha says, then switching back to English, "I know, it's an old friend, I think he might be in trouble." There’s a rustling sound as she likely gets up, the sound of a door shutting. 

"Ok, I'm in the stairwell, away from my husband and the others, on Christmas I might add." She says, back to speaking in Russian. 

"I know, I'm sorry. But I'm freaking out here, and I need advice, and if I called Stevie, we'd have to go through the whole I'm a live conversation." Bucky says, glancing at воин when the cat meows at him. 

"My advice is always murder, Брат. But you already knew that, so why are you calling me? Is there a threat you can't handle?" Natasha cries, sounding shocked, but there is a note of teasing in her voice.

"My problem will not be solved by murder, Сестра." Bucky replies, the endearment coming easily. 

"Then it sounds like a horrible problem. What problem can't be solved with murder?" Natasha asks. Bucky is suddenly struck with how much he has missed her. He hasn't seen her in years, long since before she joined the Avengers. 

"Problems of the heart, Сестра." Bucky breathes. Natasha laughs. 

"Arguably problems of the heart are the best kind to solve with murder. So, who is the lucky man you wish to kill?" Natasha's voice is light and happy now, and Bucky is going to give that super spy the biggest hug he can when he sees her tomorrow. 

"Tony Stark." Bucky says. 

"You hurt a hair on that man's head and I will kill you, no matter how glad I am that you're ok and that you're yourself, Брат." Natasha's voice is suddenly hard, that edge of murder that she allowed to bleed into the words, making them far more threatening.

"I don't want to hurt him Natalia!" Bucky cries.

"Well good, don't." There's a pause. Bucky knows Natasha isn't going to ask about the real reason he is calling, that's not her style, but she will sit quietly with him for as long as he needs.

"He gets nightmares, Сестра, and he makes the sweetest noises when sleeping. We were stuck in this safe house and the heat went out and we slept in the same bed, not sex, but he let me hold him, Natalia, me! He let me, a… a monster, the most feared assassin in the world hold him at night." Bucky breathes, "I killed his parents and he lets me hold him. And now we are at some hotel in Denver, waiting for our flight tomorrow and he's acting weird. Which makes sense because we are heading back to Stevie, and I bet he misses spending Christmas with him, but Сестра, he's so cute, and he needs to be protected and I'm not sure that Stevie will take that job seriously." Bucky whines. 

Natasha laughs. "The great Winter Soldier done in by a sleepy genius." She teases. "Wait, what do you mean Steve isn't up to the task?" 

"Well they are together, and I don't think Steve appreciates how special Tony is." Bucky sighs. Natasha bursts into laughter. 

"Брат you are ridiculous! Steve and Tony aren't together!" Natasha squealed, the Russian getting obscured by the peals of laughter. "Steve is dating Sam! Tony is single, he isn't seeing any one." Bucky's heart soars.

"Really?! He's single?" Bucky demanded, clutching the receiver tightly in his hand.   
"Yes Брат, he's really single. You know, I think you two would be really good together. He probably would design a new arm for you, he probably already has." Natasha points out. 

"You are a gift." Bucky cries. Natasha laughs.

"I know James." They are silent again. 

"I've missed you, Сестра." Bucky breathes.

"I missed you too, Брат. I won't tell Steve it was you who called me. I'll let it be a surprise for tomorrow." Natasha promises. Bucky smiles. 

"Thank you, Natalia." Bucky breathes. They sit like that, silence crackling down the line. 

"I have to go James. I will see you tomorrow Брат." She says, and then hangs up. Bucky gets up, and goes to the window, scratching his cat behind the ears. The giant orange cat purrs and they stay like that for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real fast end note: Bucky's favorite Christmas is acutally my favorite Chirstmas, my siblings and I still do that.   
> Russian in this chapter, according to google so be gentle,   
> Брат: brother  
> Сестра:sister   
> The cat's name is translated in a previous chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting moments before midnight on Christmas counts right?!?! I hope so, because that's what I'm doing. Here we are everyone, the end of the story! I have loved all of the comments and support from all of you!! I promise that your comments mean the world to me, but I have been so busy! I hope you all enjoy the ending of this, I loved writing it and loved sharing it with you!!

Neither of them sleeps that night. Tony frantically drinking coffee and designing new arms so that he doesn't have to feel, Bucky relaxing with his cat, wondering how to tell Tony how he feels. They are both bleary eyed when they meet in the hall the next morning, Bucky silently reaching for Tony's bag, before they walk to the car. Tony drives again, the drive to the airport only twenty or so minutes. Bucky tries to get воин to take a sedative, so that the flight is not spent with a yowling cat. 

Security is a slight problem with Bucky's metal arm. Tony almost gets in a shouting match with the TSA agent that keeps suggesting Bucky remove the arm, to make it easier. 

"It's screwed into his ribs you absolute asshole!!" Tony cries. "I am Tony motherfucking Stark and if I say the arm is ok, the arm is ok!!" Tony says while ripping his sunglasses off. The TSA agent's eyes widen as the apologies start, and Bucky is allowed through. 

They board the plane with no trouble, воин tucked under the seat, sleeping away, while Bucky and Tony settle into their seats. They don't speak much. 

When they are in the air, Bucky finally has enough of the smaller man's fidgeting, which has been near constant since they sat down. He puts up the arm rest, and puts his arm around Tony, tugging him into his side. He tucks his nose into the tousled curls and breathes deep.

"I can tell you didn't sleep doll. Relax." He breathes, tracing fingers up and down his arm, Tony remains rigid. Bucky just holds the man and allows him to relax by increments. "That's it, baby. Breathe, and get some sleep. You know your friends are gonna be crazy to see you. So, relax, and sleep." Bucky coos.

Tony finally sighs, and melts into Bucky, eyes fluttering closed. Bucky hums happily, and glares daggers at every flight attendant who dares come close. Tony sleeps the whole flight, and Bucky reads quietly, gently massaging Tony's scalp with his fingers. When the pilot announces that they are descending to New York, Bucky bookmarks his page, and then kisses Tony's forehead. 

"Wake up doll. We are gonna land soon baby. Come on, wake up." Bucky encourages. Tony grumbles, and tucks his face into Bucky's shirt. Bucky grins and nudges Tony slightly. "Come on now doll. Wake up." Bucky whispers. The elderly woman sitting next to them chuckles. 

"You two are very cute. He always like this when it's time to wake up?" She asks. Bucky laughs. 

"Yes, he is." 

"'m not." Tony mumbles into Bucky's chest. Bucky and the woman laugh, before Bucky dots another kiss on his hair. 

"Yes, you are, now come on. Wake up sleepy head." Bucky says. Tony grumbles again and sits up, blinking blearily at Bucky. He reaches out and brushes some of his hair off his forehead and smiles when Tony leans in to the touch. The woman smiles warmly at them. 

The landing and disembarking of the plane goes smoothly, Bucky's cat sleeping away in the pet carrier. Bucky snags their bags relatively quickly from the baggage claim, and then they head out to find Happy with the car. 

Bucky carries Tony's bags for him and still manages to open every door for Tony. Tony smiles a little sleepily up at him, and Bucky practically melts. 

He lets Happy take the bags, and then opens the car door for Tony. Tony grins and climbs in. On the drive to the compound, Tony slumps back into Bucky, leaning heavily against him, dozing. Bucky just wraps his arms around him, and buries his nose in the fluffy hair. When they pull up to the building Bucky whistles long and low at the large building that houses earths mightiest heroes. Tony grins. 

"Pretty isn't she?" He mumbles, and then climbs out of the car. Bucky follows, hefting the pet carrier. He lets Happy take the bags and follows Tony up the steps. Tony leads the way through the lobby and into the elevator. 

"JARVIS did ya miss me?" Tony cries. Bucky jumps when a computerized voice answers. 

"Of course, sir. Welcome home, and welcome to Avengers Tower Sergeant Barnes." Bucky's jaw drops and Tony giggles. 

"J, is Spangles on his floor?" Tony asks. 

"Yes, Captain Rogers, and Airman Wilson are in his living room watching a movie." The voice responds.

"Wonderful, would you tell him I'm home and bringing his Christmas present?" Tony asks. 

"Of course, sir." 

The elevator doors open and Bucky and Tony walk out into the hall way. A TV can be heard from deeper in the apartment. Tony leads the way down to the living room, where Steve and Sam are curled on the couch watching a movie. Tony almost hates to do this, hates to bring Bucky in to break up the happy scene. But if it means Bucky is happy then he will do it, no matter the cost to his own heart. He does hate that he will ruin Wilson's happiness too, but he supposes that the veteran will bounce back. 

"Heya spangles." Tony calls, motioning for Bucky to stay back, out of sight. 

"Tony!" Steve cries and gets up, pulling Tony into a tight hug. Tony hugs back, tamping down the pain in his heart. "How are you?" 

"Fine, gracious Cap, I'm fine. Want your present?" Tony asks. 

"You didn't have to get me anything. You know that, I'm just glad we are all safe." Steve says. Tony grins, typical Steve. Tony leans away to make eye contact with Bucky in the shadows and nods him forward. Bucky sets down the pet carrier and steps into the door way. 

"Heya, punk." Bucky says, smiling at Steve. Tony steps aside as Steve's eyes widen. 

"Bucky…." He whispers barely there, looking like he's seen a ghost. They stare at each other, and then Steve tears across the room and clutches Bucky to his chest. Bucky hugs back just as tight and both of their shoulders shake with tears. 

"You're alive. How are you alive? You're real, oh my god. You're here, oh my god Bucky. Bucky." Steve cries, over and over. Tony smiles, sends an apologetic look at Sam and leaves quietly. He gets in the elevator and takes it down to the workshop.

Tony is crying when he gets to the workshop, tears flowing down his face. He closes the lab doors, and smiles weakly at the chorus of beeps emitted from his bots. 

"Hey guys. J, put the lab in black out mode. No access to anyone." Tony says, sitting on the couch, voice breaking, the image of how tight Bucky and Steve had clung to each other seared into his heart.

"Done sir." Jarvis replies, and Tony nods, pulling a pillow onto his lap and sobbing into it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Tony eventually cries himself out, sitting on the couch. He feels raw and numb all at the same moment, but he doesn’t move, and he doesn't let anyone in. Not when JARVIS tells him that Bucky is at the door, not when Steve joins Bucky, and not when Natasha joins them. 

Tony doesn't know what JARVIS tells them, but they eventually leave. Tony sits on the couch for hours, unmoving, letting the pain feel raw and aching. He eventually shakes it off enough to get up and walk over to the work table. 

He gets to work, having JARVIS print prototypes of the designs he completed in the cabin, and then he works on an arm, uploading blueprints and redesigning things now he can look at it in 3D. He ignores the texts from the team, and tries to pull himself together. 

He stays in the lab until 3 in the morning. 

"JARVIS." Tony calls, scrubbing his eyes and yawning. 

"Yes sir?" The AI responds. 

"Where is everyone?" Tony holds his breath, hoping everyone has gone to bed.   
"Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton are in bed on their floor, Airman Wilson is also asleep in his rooms, Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes and Airman Wilson are all talking in Captain Roger's and Airman Wilson's living room. I feel I should tell you sir, the Captain asked that I alert him when you leave the lab. He used override codes." JARVIS responds. Tony swears, and goes to the couch. 

"Then I'll sleep here, and you can tell the freaking Captain that." Tony says, wrapping up in a blanket, and motioning for the lights to be dimmed. He settles in, and tries to catch even a little bit of sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony doesn't leave the lab for the next two days. He tries, but is always told by JARVIS that one of the team is sitting by the door, is waiting on his floor, or have used their override codes on JARVIS to get alerts if he leaves the lab. He’d given the team those damn codes for emergencies, not for broken hearts. On the second day, Tony gets fed up and climbs into an Iron Man suit. He leaves through the exit in the lab and takes a long flight around the city. 

He's been gone for two hours when a call flashes on the HUD. Tony takes it, calls from Rhodey shouldn’t be ignored. 

"Heya Honeybears." Tony cries, voice full of false cheer. 

"You are an idiot, you know that right Tones?" Rhodey says. 

"Yes, but what’s the reason now?" Tony asks, performing a lazy somersault in the air. 

"Because I just got a call from Steve that said you have been hiding in the lab for two days." Tony cringes at the words. 

"I've been designing?" Tony says, hopefully. "I was just stranded in the damn wilderness with no lab, so I'm catching up." 

"Be more inclined to believe you if it didn't sound like a question." Rhodey says, and Tony can just see him, arms folded looking annoyed. "What's going on? Why are you suddenly hiding?" Tony sighs, and starts back toward the Tower. 

"Because Rhodey, I reunited the damn super soldiers, and didn't feel like sitting around and watching them be sappy." Tony says. Before Rhodey can respond there is a commotion from his end of the line. 

"Is that Tony? Give me the phone Colonel." There's a pause, and then: "You are an idiot Stark." Natasha says, voice clipped and brisk. 

"Hey Nat missed you too." Tony responds. 

"Be more inclined to be nice if you weren't such an idiot." Nat responds. Tony sighs.

"Listen Nat…" Tony starts. 

"No, you listen, while you've been sulking Bucky has been moping around wondering why you're mad at him and wondering what he did to make you disappear." Natasha snaps. "Steve is worried he did something, and Sam and I are sick of dealing with those two. So, get your ass back here and talk to Bucky, or so help me I'll hunt you down and drag you back myself." Nat snaps, and then ends the call. Tony sighs. Of course, Bucky, sweet handsome Bucky is worried he did something wrong. 

Tony lands at the tower around 8pm, and asks JARVIS to ask Bucky to meet him in his penthouse with Steve, and to ask all the other Avengers to leave him be. JARVIS peels the suit away from him, and then he climbs in the elevator. 

Tony takes a fortifying breath before the doors open, and steps out into his living room, false charm in place. Steve and Bucky had been sitting on the couch, but immediately leap up when Tony arrives. 

"Doll." Bucky breathes in relief and takes a stuttering step forward, before halting himself. Steve's brow is creased and he looks Tony over like he's looking for injuries. 

"Hey Bucky, Spangles." Tony says. Steve frowns deeper. 

"Tony. What's going on?" Steve asks. Tony frowns. 

"Nothing, I'm fine. Was just designing, and then wanted to go flying, helps me clear my head." Tony replies. "I think I've got a new arm for you Barnes, I can show you designs tomorrow if you want." Tony glances at Bucky in time to see his face crumple. Steve notices to, and reaches out to clasp Bucky's shoulder, Tony nearly breaks at the sight. 

"Tony." Bucky breathes, voice quiet. " What did I do? I thought… I thought we were getting' closer, but we get back and suddenly you shut me out and now it's back to bein Barnes? What did I do?" Bucky cries, sinking down onto the couch. Tony blinks. 

"You didn't do anything wrong." Tony whispers, confused. 

"Then what happened?" Bucky cries, blue eyes pleading. 

"Nothing, we came home. You and Steve are reunited, happily ever after and all that." Tony says, flapping his hand, turning away so the pain in his eyes isn't visible.

"I don’t understand." Bucky whispers. Steve though, looks like a lightbulb just went on in his head. 

"Wait." He says, peering between Tony and Bucky. "Oh, for crying out loud, you both are idiots!" Steve throws his hands up, and then gives both of them the signature looks of disappointment. "Bucky, you didn't do anything, except maybe you didn't clear something up. Tony, we aren’t together." Steve says. Tony blinks, and blinks again before gaping at Steve. Bucky looks confused. 

"Wait, Stevie and me?" Bucky says. "That would be like dating my brother!" Bucky cries, standing up again. 

"And I am in love with Sam. Tony you knew that." Steve points out, exasperation evident in his voice. 

"Well yeah, but you didn't know Bucky was alive. I thought when he came back…." Tony whispers,   
gesturing between the two and looking down. 

"No Tones. We are like brothers." Steve says patiently. "Bucky likes someone else." Tony's shoulders slump, but he isn't surprised. 

"Oh." Tony says, wishing the carpet would swallow him up. 

"I'm sorry Tony." Bucky says. "I didn't mean to, I swear…" Tony just shrugs miserably. 

"Oh my God you guys. Tony, I thought you were a genius. Bucky likes you! Bucky, he looks miserable because he likes you too and thinks you like someone else. Now I for one think you two would be adorable together. So, kiss and make up or whatever. I'm going to go cuddle by the fire." Steve snarks, and then storms out of the room. It's silent for a beat. 

"You like me?" Tony says at the same time Bucky says:

"He's right." Bucky blushes and smiles at Tony, before walking slowly forward. He reaches out with his metal arm and cups Tony's face, gently and slowly. Tony holds his breath. 

"I read up on you, when I first came out of hiding. I listened to interviews and read articles. I remember thinking you were one of the most handsome men I had ever seen, and I knew that I wanted to get to know you. And I hoped that once Princess Shuri took the programing out of my head I could come back here and get to know you better, maybe take you out." Bucky's voice is soft, a low rumble, and he's standing close, peering down at Tony, lips only inches apart. "You are even better than I imagined." Tony flushes. 

"You made me realize I was into men too." Tony blurts, voice sounding breathless. "My dad had posters and pictures of you, and I realized when I was sixteen, going through photos of you in the Howlies that I wasn't straight." Tony whispers. Bucky grins, and cups Tony's face with both of his hands. Tony swallows, and reaches up, wrapping a hand around Bucky's silver wrist. 

"Can I kiss you doll?" Bucky whispers. Tony nods. Bucky smiles briefly and then closes the distance, placing a gentle kiss on Tony's lips. Bucky pulls back just a little, eyes searching, and then moves in again, this time for a hungrier kiss. Tony responds in kind, opening up for Bucky's tongue and pushing a hand into Bucky's hair. 

They break apart a few moments later, breathless. Bucky brushes some of his hair back from his forehead, and leans his forehead against Tony’s.

“We are idiots, aren’t we?” Tony whispers. 

“Yeah, but at least we are idiots together.” Bucky whispers. Tony grins and loops his arms around Bucky’s neck. 

“So not with Steve?” Tony asks, pulling back. Bucky laughs. 

“Nope, not with Stevie. Hopefully with you though?” Bucky says. 

Tony nods vigorously, kissing the taller man again. Bucky pulls back and grins like a wolf at Tony, before scooping him up and carrying him to bed. 

After, when they are sweaty and panting, Bucky pulls Tony close, nuzzling into the damp curls, thumbing over several purple hickeys on Tony's neck. 

"You're sleeping here right?" Tony whispers. "Because I can't sleep without you." 

"Yeah doll, I'm not goin anywhere." Bucky replies, holding Tony tighter. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Eve, one year later. 

"Ok, ok, close your eyes." Tony says, bouncing excitedly. Bucky rolls his eyes, but does as asked. Tony grins and tugs Bucky up the steps. Tony pushes open the door, and shoves Bucky through it. 

"Wait just a minute!" Tony cries, rushing around the small room, plugging in the required electronics to pull off his gift. Bucky chuckles, but keeps his eyes closed.

“You know that I saw the cabin on the drive-up right love?” Bucky asks, and then chuckles when Tony shushes him.

Tony takes a deep breath and looks around. Everything looks perfect, he had the place cleaned, and lights put up outside. There is a Christmas Tree right where the first one stood a year ago, decorated with the same lights and same ornaments, as well as some that Tony made, photos of Bucky and Tony together, and pictures of воин, who is currently lying under the tree, batting at an ornament.

A fire is going in the grate and snow is falling softly outside. The bed has a heavy quilt on it, one he found with Steve for part of the gift. It was made by Bucky's mother in the forties, and was finished by his sisters, meant to be a gift on his wedding. Tony shifts nervously, everything is perfect, or so he hopes. 

"Ok, open your eyes." Tony says. Bucky blinks his eyes open and glances around the cabin. He grins and reaches for Tony. 

"Is this where you have been all day? Decorating this cabin for Christmas doll?" Bucky says, holding Tony close. Tony nods. 

"It's our cabin now. I bought it, for you." Tony whispers. Bucky blinks and glances around again. 

"Really? Why? We live in New York, not Colorado." Bucky asks, cupping Tony's face. Tony nuzzles Bucky's hand and smiles. 

"Because this is the place where we fell in love, and if it weren't for this cabin, I wouldn’t have you. We wouldn't have fallen in love, and I hate to think about that." Tony murmurs. Bucky's face softens, and he places a tender kiss on Tony's lips. 

"I love you." He whispers. Tony grins. 

"I love you too." Tony giggles, as Bucky picks him up and carries him to the bed. 

Bucky stops in the doorway, and blinks at the bed, still carrying Tony. Tony swallows and shifts slightly. Bucky swallows. 

“Doll?” Bucky whispers. Tony sighs, and then wiggles out of his boyfriends’ arms. He fidgets slightly. 

“Ok, so Steve tracked down the quilt, and he said it was supposed to be for your wedding, and I’m not proposing so don’t look so freaked out!” Tony cries all in a rush. “But it just looked so cozy, and your sisters worked on it and I thought you’d like to have it and it looked so cozy here and I just thought it would be nice.” 

Bucky grins, and steps forward, taking Tony’s hands. He smiles softly down at his boyfriend. 

“I love it doll. Thank you.” Bucky breathes, kissing Tony. “Can we cuddle like old times?” Bucky asks. Tony laughs and nods.

They slip into the matching Christmas pajamas that Sam had gotten them as a gift. (Jokes on him, Tony loves matching things more than anything, and had squealed over them and insisted Bucky go change immediately). Bucky and Tony crawl under the covers, and curl together, watching the snow in the glow of the Christmas lights outside. 

“Favorite Christmas?” Bucky asks. Tony grins, curling closer. 

“Every Christmas with you Bucky-babe.” Tony whispers. Bucky snorts. 

“That was too cheesy.” Bucky chides. Tony laughs, then props himself up to look at Bucky. 

“Last Christmas. I loved dancing, and the baking, and being with you. Made me feel loved, and important.” Tony whispers, face going soft and calm as he looks at Bucky. Bucky reaches up and cups Tony’s cheek with his metal hand, knowing how much Tony loves it. 

“I’ll spend every damn day for the rest of my life making sure you always feel like that.” Bucky swears, voice low and intense. Tony smiles. “You are loved, Anthony and so important to me.” Tony leans forward and kisses Bucky, long and slow. He pulls back eventually, when they are both a little breathless and dazed. 

“My favorite Christmas was last Christmas too doll.” Bucky whispers. Tony smiles, softly. He kisses Bucky and lets him roll them over, so Tony is on his back. 

Later, several rounds later, super-soldier stamina is no joke, they curl together. Their matching pajamas are forgotten on the floor, and Tony snuggles closer to the warmth of Bucky’s chest. 

“I love you doll.” Bucky breathes, pulling him close. Tony hums, and curls into Bucky’s body. 

“I love you too Buckybear.” Tony whispers, and lets himself doze off.

Right before he drifts to sleep, warm and safe in Bucky’s arms, on of which he designed, Tony takes a brief second to thank the powers at be for all of the so-called problems that led him here, to the arms of the love of his life. And when Bucky pulls him even closer, Tony suspects he agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! Come say hi on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hippiebuckydrarry)  
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
